Shocking Topic - Sex

Being happily married for a little over ten years I still find it amazing how BIG Sex is in a marriage.

The having it
The not having it
The not talking about it
The openness
The guilt
The pleasure
The anger
The betrayal

This is going to be a very frank - out spoken post.
If you are delicate, single or under 18 you may want to go for a walk...

Let me address a few key topics

1. Foreplay
If a woman says, "Foreplay is over rated" - translation is - you suck at it and I have better things to do - like my nails.
If a man believes that Foreplay is over rated - again he sucks at it and doesn't understand.

Foreplay is a way to get both parties "ready", besides the bonding intimacy of the moment, it also helps make a woman tighter - making it in the long run much better for the man as well.

2. Sex in Marriage
I am a huge believer that sex needs to be between MARRIED people. (people married to each other that is)
When a woman has sex a chemical is released inside her brain emotionally bonding her to that partner - having multiple partners can lead to emotional damage.
I also don't understand how you can sleep with a random person - a person you won't trust your car keys, cell phone or bank account information to - but your body - that's okay. (*Shudders*)

When you are first married - its hard to be open and honest about everything because you don't want to offend the other person.
My hubby and I went to a marriage weekend a few months before we were married (separate rooms) the best advice they gave was to be open and honest about what you liked, didn't like, to openly ask for what you wanted.

From day one we were.
It was brutal.
Tears fell - fights happened.
However, it was amazing how quickly we got on the same page. How soon we started to be in harmony.
It was the best thing we did being honest so early in our marriage - before we had kids - when we were still having sex an average of 3 times a day.

10 years and two kids later - we average once to twice a week. I have found out due to my casual attitude about sex, that we are not the normal married couple.
Many couples think its normal for once a month - some even think once a month is good!

Sex keeps you bonded to your partner - it helps stave off hurt, loneliness, anger, bitterness and misunderstandings. It makes you feel better, emotionally and physically.

Last year when I spent the summer talking to a shrink she was amazed at how we had held onto "our time" even with young children and all that comes with it.
Late night moments, melatonin for the kids so we get a solid half hour and showering together are ways we have found to steal a few moments just for us, for our future and for our marriage.

You need to remember that YOU choose your partner. You planned forever with your partner. Your kids will grow up and leave, you will either be with a loving partner, a stranger you once knew or you will be looking for partner number ---.

3. Emotions and Sex
Hollywood has this glamorous picture of sex.
Everyone that hooks up with someone is happy - they both climax, they both feel a high.
This is a sad sad lie.

If you have been abused or have a partner that was sexually abused - sex is both needed and a minefield.
If you are pregnant or had a baby - sex (the drive) can disappear. Even having sex can be more of a chore than a pleasure.
Hormonal imbalances and other medical issues or medications can cause problems.

This is another reason you need to talk to your partner about what is going on. Also you need to talk to your doctor - we don't like talking about these issues and emotions. Somehow - not quite certain how - but we all feel we must work through it on our own.
I haven't quite figured out why we think this way - why we think its shameful, embarrassing or isn't important.
However, many times this is a side effect of something larger.

Betrayal - against the lie of Hollywood, the lie of the "perfect couple", the lie of "happily ever after." Against sexual betrayal, cheating, affairs or being told that you aren't good enough.
Sex is complicated, fun and very messy.
Its emotional.
Its embarrassing.
Its rewarding.

When you get it right, you both end up wanting more, being happy. When its right, you don't care and aren't ashamed of your reactions, begging or demanding during the act.
When done right you can both climax together. Something that many people don't believe can happen, but I have to prove them wrong 80% of the time my husband and I climax together.

 SEX - is something that should be talked about. Not some hidden secret, not something to be lied about or faked. It isn't about that moment - its about making the next one better!
You see when we were young and had the energy to go three times a day or more - it wasn't as rewarding.
Now that we are older, pressed for time and lets face it more tired - our sex is amazing.
Nothing is held back, hidden or withheld.
Being emotionally naked as well as physically naked is one of the hardest things I have ever learned to do - and it has been oh so worth it.
 

Magna Fire!

Two years ago next month - the house next to us burnt down.

Today a house on the other side and a few down, caught on fire.

I got my girl a wet bandana to help keep the smoke out of her lungs.

Luckily this fire was put out rather quickly and the smoke has cleared.

Also no one was taken or cared for by the ambulances so I am fairly sure no one was hurt.

The post I was working on and will now be published tomorrow is very sexy.

Alright its all about sex!

Come on back and check it out!

Kid Day - Unplugged

My kids have been sick off and on for the past week, for a while I was trying to get them to make it to school - after multiple times of having to run back and forth to the school (including having to beg a ride so I wouldn't have to walk in the rain) today I just gave up and kept them both home.

Instead of all of us plopping in front of the boob tube, we unplugged. I stayed off the internet all day and the tv was off most of the whole day!
We cuddled in bed, read books, talked and painted Christmas houses and ornaments.
When papa came home he was tackled by two very hyper happy children.

It was good they stayed home, they both needed to stay next to the bathroom and both have needed cold meds - twice to keep the snot at bay.
It was also a very good mama/kid day - no one yelled, screamed or cried for very long. All in all it was the type of day we always dream of having with our kids but rarely do.

Two weeks ago my face looked like this

Two weeks after using my new face wash - acne all gone - as well as the oily build up on my skin - no matter how many times I washed a day!

Home Made Face Cleanse

Tomorrow is another day at home - this time because there is no school

another day to unplug and listen.

Another day of cuddles and secrets.

Of stories and bonding

another day to be.

 

Rainy Day Randomness

                              Today it rained - a good long soaking refreshing, earth quenching rain.

Maybe you don't know my luck, but today for the first time since school started - today is the day that I got the call from school that my son had an accident, was sick and needed me.
Me, the woman who gave up her car 5 1/2 years ago, me the woman who is no longer driving her husband to work because he gets up so early, me the woman who is now getting rides with a great friend, me that is a few weeks from getting another car!

I called up my friend begged her to put her two babies back in the car, run over, pick me up, wait, then drive my son and  I home.
Luckily she is wonderful!

I have spent the day helping my son with his homework, projects and of course laundering his soiled clothes.
Tummy Trouble is not fun.

After hubby came home I ran to the school for both of my children's S.E.P's, and then to work at the book fair with the PTA for a few hours.
I am thankful I can help! Not having a ton of money I collect all labels, all bonus school points and now I have time to help out the school's PTA!

 

With fall comes new challenges and new allergies. My poor little girl has such a hard time! Each day its something new!

These are the new items I have waiting for bath bubbles and hand cream, even the scents - bath bubbles will be scented with Sugar Cookie & the hand cream an Autumn Harvest smell!
I have designed the labels and slowly but surely this party is coming together! Two months to go!
Can you tell its been a while since I was able to throw a really fun party?! I am so excited!

Last Randomness

This is my neighbors house - two years ago it burnt down. Last summer it was bought by a couple who has worked very hard to restore and fix the inside.
The last few weeks they have been working on electrical, plumbing, wall panels... they have fixed the roof and removed all the crap.
Yet... its raining and the windows are still open!!!

Kid you not!
These people have poured thousands of dollars and hours of hard work yet it will be  could be all ruined again if they don't fix the windows before it rains much more. If the rain of the last 24 hours hasn't already re-damaged things!

On a happier note! At the end of this month we will have been in our home for 2 years! I am so very happy!
We have a long way to go on the yard and lots of work left yet on the inside as well, but two years down - 28 more to go and its ours!

Mosaic Miche Monday

Last week I noticed that my favorite Miche bag had been put on sale. 19.99! (Shell only) Also my favorite matching brown purse handles were on sale as well.
So I called my Miche Rep (my sister) and asked if it was a temporary sale or a being discontinued sale.
The purse handles aren't technically being discontinued, what is being discontinued is them being sold seperately instead of in a bundle.

This wonderful green & black bag called Delilah is being discontinued. Its one of only two bags made by Miche that comes with a matching changing pad - making this a "could be" diaper bag.
While I have not given up hope of having another baby, I bought this more for when I am having a day out with the kids.
A day where I need to carry drinks, snacks, and my camera.

So while my South of the Border, Purse Party isn't until November 24th at 1pm. This purse and a few like it, may not be available.
So I placed my order last week and it arrived a few days later!
Wonderfully excellent in every way! I can't wait to start using it!
The only thing is that because I am waiting for my party to buy so many things - I won't get the actual purse until November!

I know the wait is killing me!
However, I am a surprise waiting around the corner of my life and I can't afford to get demanding right now - just wait, in a few weeks I will have one heck of a fun post on the newest turn of fortune!

Tomorrow I am going to post on another box of items I got for my Miche Party - namely all my empty new containers for lotions, bath bubbles and hand scrubs!
I am having so much fun!

Linking up with Mosaic Monday

First Day of Fall

Yesterday - the first day of fall and A's b-day we went up into Cottonwood canyon for a small bonfire night with friends.
It was also the most perfect fall drive - ever! Until of course the nut that tried to run us off the road! Don't worry I have photo's of his license plate! I can see about reporting him, if nothing else though I can find a bad driver site and post them there.

My amazing kids!

Us girls with Birthday girl A in the front

One year down and 50 to go!

My man!

Linked up with Mosaic Monday

Due to my linking up with Mosaic Monday I decided to add another one for you all to enjoy!

Games, Laughs and Fun

 

Family game night has become a tradition in our house.
Snacks, treats and finger foods are a must.
Fun games and everyone playing, also a must.

The photo above is after G'man and I made a winning move! We teamed up and we won for the night!

I have also started keeping score
per game, championship rounds and nightly winners!
I can only imagine how great this will be to look back on years from now.

We played Operation (brand new kids first time)
Labyrinth 
and
Harry Potter Clue
This was the first time playing HP clue with the kids - its quite an intricate game so we played as teams.
Once you get through it once though it really is a fun and great way to play clue!
Had no idea until adding the link that HP Clue was limited edition, its now selling for 70.00! So glad I bought it when I did!
Should have bought two! One to play the other to keep as a collectors item!

Right now I have been keeping busy planning both my upcoming South of the Border Miche Party as well as my daughters upcoming 9th birthday!
I am menu planning, event planning and experimenting.

On top of that I have a meeting with G'man's teacher - which is a good thing as he stayed home "sick" today. He faked illness this morning (very convincingly) to avoid going to school, to avoid being bullied.
As his school is a Zero Tolerance school, I need to find out what is being done to address this issue.
He has been pushed down cement steps twice and hit once in class in front of the teacher.
Clearly one boy in his class needs to be in a special behavioral class and not this one.