Utah's Toxic Air

Before the almost full foot of snow that's dropped in the last two days, we had Toxic Fog. A thick heavy layer of smog, fog and pollution.

It hard to tell due to the large amounts of white, but its around 3 feet, yes its a four foot fence but it slopes down. Its hard to describe and depending on drift, my yard has anywhere from 2 1/2 to 3 feet. We have more snow inbound tonight and tomorrow so we will see what we end up with.
The rest of this post will be on last weeks issue of Toxic Fog ;). Hope you enjoy my rant.

New's Quote, 

The icy fog has smothered the Salt Lake Valley for several weeks and trapped lung-busting soot emitted in the city underneath.

The level of pollution in the city is now the highest in America according to the Environmental Protection Agency and medical experts are now urging residents to stay indoors.

And

The greater Salt Lake region had up to 130 micrograms of soot per cubic meter on Wednesday, or more than three times the federal clean-air limit, according to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency.

Utah regulators are working on a set of plans to limit everyday emissions, including a measure to ban the sale of aerosol deodorants and hair spray that contain hydrocarbon propellants. Those plans, however, will take years to show results.

Snow cover amplifies the phenomena called a temperature inversion - Salt Lake City was a foggy freezer box Wednesday at 18 degrees, while Park City basked in sunny 43-degree weather. The warmer air aloft acted like a lid on the frigid valley air, leaving it with no place to go.

For weeks, industrialized cities in northern China have been dealing with bouts of sickening smog several times more toxic than Utah's. But by U.S. standards, Utah's pollution index is off the charts with readings routinely exceeding a scale that tops out at 70 micrograms a cubic meter. The EPA sets a standard for clean air at no more than 35 micrograms.

News links on our Toxic Air.

Daily Mail - Utah's Toxic Fog make's UK's newstands - great photos of the fog.

CBS News

Fox 13 - Attempting to make it sound better

Fox 13 - Our government not really making any changes - trying to leave cleaning the air up to using public transportation. 

Fox 13 - Utah Mom's for clean air trying to get government legislators to pledge to a more active role in cleaning Utah's Air.

Utah Mom's For Clean Air - How did I not know about this group until now?

So while the snow has in fact "cleaned" the air for us once again, the simple fact of the matter is any time the air "settles" (still air, dry air ect) we get inversion. That by itself is still nasty to breathe. Add in varying factors and voila Toxic fog/air. 

The main problem is that even if this legislative session makes and creates real air changing laws and ideas, it will be years until they are implemented and even more until they are effective. 

It can be another 10 years before we see cleaner air on a full time basis. 

So what do we do in the mean time?

I for one am looking into buying special masks for Asthma and Allergy. (links at bottom of post) Since my daughter Prissy has sever Asthma and hayfever, buying washable, re-usable masks is key.

I will also pick one up for my son and I - not sure if hubby will agree to wear one or not even though he also has asthma.

We may look silly for the first year or so - however, if things continue the way they are we may be at the forefront of a new fashion. At least locally.

How about you? IF you live/lived in a polluted area what measures would you take?

 

Links to masks

Here are the top two I am looking at

For the kids (latex free & washable)

For me and the hubby (washable)

and others

I can breathe Masks

Mask buying guide 

Elderly Abuse

Elderly Abuse and why we should be ashamed.

Mama & Grandma out to eat

Many states are still working through their laws - some only have physical and sexual abuse to an elderly. Other's abuse is confined to care centers. This is very important, please check your state laws and see how well they protect their elders.

My state, thankfully, will go after ANYONE who will try to harm or exploit an elderly person, even intimidation of an elderly person is illegal here - not only illegal, but you can be tried and found guilty of it.
After reading through many different state laws, I have to say that I am proud of my state!

My sister, Grandmother and myself

1. What is Elderly Abuse?

Elderly abuse can be anything from physical abuse, emotional abuse to taking advantage of trust to steal from them.
Visit NCEA home - National Center on Elder Abuse
If you suspect elder abuse, neglect, or exploitation,  Click Here for state reporting numbers, or telephone
the Eldercare Locator at
1-800-677-1116.

2. Who can turn in an Abuser?

Someone who knows either the Elderly person OR the Abuser. Family members, medical personal, clergy, social workers... anyone.

3. Can you be sued for turning someone in for Elderly Abuse?

NO. On the website listed, it clearly states that you need to report SUSPECTED abuse. They investigate and will determine whether or not its worth pursuing. You do not need concrete evidence to call in. This means you are not at fault if they are proven innocent.
In fact in a few states NOT reporting suspected elderly abuse is itself a Crime.

4. What is the punishment for Elderly Abuse?

This to me is kind of fun. A person found guilty of Elderly Abuse will be tried for whatever they are found guilty of - physical abuse, theft, embezzlement PLUS taking advantage of an elderly person.

By Utah State Laws - Terms and Definitions.

Exploitation:
(iii) unjustly or improperly uses or manages the resources of a vulnerable adult for the profit or advantage of someone other than the vulnerable adult;
     (iv) unjustly or improperly uses a vulnerable adult's power of attorney or guardianship for the profit or advantage of someone other than the vulnerable adult; or
     (v) involves a vulnerable adult who lacks the capacity to consent in the facilitation or furtherance of any criminal activity.
     (b) A person is guilty of the offense of exploitation of a vulnerable adult as follows:
     (i) if done intentionally or knowingly and the aggregate value of the resources used or the profit made is or exceeds $5,000, the offense is a second degree felony;
     (ii) if done intentionally or knowingly and the aggregate value of the resources used or the profit made is less than $5,000 or cannot be determined, the offense is a third degree felony;

Intimidation:
means communication conveyed through verbal or nonverbal conduct which threatens deprivation of money, food, clothing, medicine, shelter, social interaction, supervision, health care, or companionship, or which threatens isolation or harm.
If done intentionally or knowingly, the offense is a second degree felony.

Harm: 
means pain, mental anguish, emotional distress, hurt, physical or psychological damage, physical injury, suffering, or distress inflicted knowingly or intentionally.
Same fines and laws as stated above apply.

Deception means:
     (i) a misrepresentation or concealment:
     (A) of a material fact relating to services rendered, disposition of property, or use of property intended to benefit a vulnerable adult;
     (B) of the terms of a contract or agreement entered into with a vulnerable adult; or
     (C) relating to the existing or preexisting condition of any property involved in a contract or agreement entered into with a vulnerable adult; or
     (ii) the use or employment of any misrepresentation, false pretense, or false promise in order to induce, encourage, or solicit a vulnerable adult to enter into a contract or agreement.

These are just a few of the terms and fines as laid out in the Utah State Law.

Why should we be ashamed?

Ask any adult about elder abuse. Financial exploitation and they can tell you of at least one person who they KNOW to have exploited or have been exploited.

In my family we (the family) allowed "minor" emotional exploitation of my grandmother. I am very deeply ashamed that it went unreported for years.
Why? Because my grandmother started a cycle that we didn't know when or how to break.
She wanted her family to come to her for help.
Two people took advantage of this.
Her daughter and her daughter's daughter.
It started out as grandma helping because she could - because she wanted to.
It ended with her being pressured to change her will.
There are ways to protect yourself or your family member when the times comes - power of attorney is one way, but it has to be complete.
My uncle had power of attorney and yet my cousin was still able to get my grandmother to change her will without his knowledge - this is where you need to make sure to have all your T's crossed and your I's dotted.
Found out that she (grandma) left the money in a hidden trust before my uncle was made her executor.

My grandmother after her stroke

Why did we allow it to continue after it reached unhealthy and emotional levels?
Because my cousin and my aunt were leaches - they sucked small amounts from her. Nothing "worth" going to the police over. Nothing that would put my grandmothers financial future in danger.
Still the fact remains that grandma was taken from and pressured from those two to often to count. The rest of family treated my grandmother with respect and love.

Does this sound like Placating?
Good because it was and I am ashamed.

The fact is that we never want to prosecute family. We never want to have to step in and say ENOUGH.
We want it to magically work out. It doesn't.
Take a stand, get informed, protect yourself and your loved ones.

Bullies, School and Parents

This year has been a hard year for a few of us parents. I have written more than one blog post on bullying this year.
Today my being at the school and staying until after first recess for the last three months finally paid off - I found the bully.
I also found out why one of the boys LIED (that would be mine) and the other wouldn't TALK (that would be J).
The Bully is a GIRL.

Today as I walked outside with G'man I found J at the end of the ramp pushed up against the cement steps by a girl in his class.
Now this girl is a pro, even in the first grade. She was close enough and leaning over him (6 inches taller than he is) but still far enough away that any teacher or duty would think they were just talking.
She was talking or rather threatening to choke him if he didn't give her his "duckies" (plastic ducks on the end of a necklace).
I told her to stop it and sent them both off - in separate directions.
5 minutes later I saw that she had once again pinned him, this time was holding onto his jacket so he couldn't escape.
Not only did I pull her aside to talked  with her teacher, I also called his mother and let her know what I found out. She has been very worried about the bullying and even more worried that they haven't found who was doing it.

She came a little while later to talk with the principle. This is where our semi good day of finding the bully went down hill.
The principle didn't help.
Didn't listen.
And talked down to the parent.
J's mom is going to the district - maybe they will listen.

Hint -
Do not tell a mother its not that big a deal.
Do not tell a boy that has been bullied to tears for months that he isn't afraid of her.
Do not spend the whole time trying to make light of the situation.

Just because she is a girl doesn't mean she's sweet, or that she won't hurt him - or that she hasn't hurt him in the past.
I say that the next time she puts a finger on either one of our boys - they come home with a scratch, a bruise or a cut and we will call the police and file assault charges.
We will defend our boys.
This is not something that is okay.
Threatening to choke someone is not okay.
Bullying done by anyone is not okay.
For a school that has a zero bullying policy, they sure didn't listen today. Something I really hope the district pays attention to. As much as I like the Principle (and I do) this is not right.
My witnessing her threatening to choke him should have been grounds for a red slip, not a slight scolding.

Hence the saga continues.
The sad thing is I am sure if we had pulled in a boy the matter would have been dealt with, quickly.

Bundle Me

Today we partied

all 5 of us.

Doesn't matter that you didn't come - we had fun anyways.

Plus I hit a HUGE sale!

Miche offered their first ever huge bundle black Friday (the whole weekend) sale!

I was able to get the above cover (for my soon to be Classic bag)

I was talked out of the smaller petite after they made me attempt to fit all my junk into it.

They won.

I know, it does happen every now and then...

The above is the yellow hope bag - one that has been discontinued for around a year or so.

I was able to pick it up for 7.00!

This Prima Bundle is the base bag and 4 covers is on sale this weekend only

for 75% off!

Really not kidding!

It is going for 49.95!

I can't even buy the base bag and one of these covers (half off) for that much!

I am so excited I can't wait for my items to arrive in the mail!

Soon I will be awash in new fun toys!

The food was good, the friends amazing not to mention it was great to see and spend time with my sister!

I hope that everyone else had a great Thanksgiving!

If you are interested in Miche, to sell or to buy

Please visit my sister at 

www.tangotildawn.miche.com

Tomorrow, God and good friends willing - we may even have a front porch light again!

Now that life is calming down again I will once again be blogging more!

See you soon!

Unseen Scars - Bullying

For the several hundred that read my last post on bullying and how its hurting my son, here I am, updating you.
Things are better.
Things are worse.

Its hard to separate my life at the moment from the life of my son. He is hurt. Yet that is such a pitiful way to describe what has happened to him emotionally.
At night he is plagued with nightmares, of being hurt, of even being killed on the playground. He is in first grade in a regular city. Not too violent, not too sweet and rather poor.
At school I cannot leave him. Every day I have to be there in his class until after first recess - at which time I have to be there on the playground.
If I have other obligations or I'm sick or his sister is sick - he comes home before first recess sick.
Again he is not having accidents on purpose. He is literally making himself sick with fear.
Right now I am looking into free state psychological help, the co-pays alone for meeting with a child shrink would kill us.

So again today I went to school with my son. We did class work in which one of his class mates had me biting my lips to stop from laughing.
They have a game called silly sentences.

She did this all by herself in spite of my trying to get her to exchange man for dinosaur and to remove the word happy.
I have to give props to his teacher - how does she read these and not lose it?
I would also like to point out that the rest of the sentences the kids came up with were not off color like this one, they were cute and silly.
We did recess as in the photos above and then I left to run home before returning again for my PTA meeting.

Now as I said my son is better - its been three weeks since he has been bullied on the playground.
And he is worse because the fear is so deep rooted in his brain that he can not move past it yet.

This is yet another reason I am so happy that I joined the PTA this year. I was able to talk to them about it today and we are moving forward with the Watch Dogs, program. Where dads (and moms) join a program and then dedicate extra hours to being on the playground, before and after school and they help keep the playground a safe place.
It would have started at the beginning of the year, however, we lost our main leader and its been a struggle to move forward.
Thankfully we have two new dads who are eager to help. (The main gist of the program is to help bring dads into helping at the school.)
I love that I have another place to voice what is going on with my son and have even more people to help support and implement changes. 

October - Anti Bullying Month

October

Its amazing with so many things going on that October is Anti-Bullying Month.

Yesterday, I was called (again) by my son. He had another accident. It was 10:11 am.
This is the second time in two weeks that he has had an accident at school before 10:15 am - which incidentally happens to be first recess.

Now I want to be clear - he is not having the accidents on purpose to come home or to get me to come to the school.
However - due to a bully at school - he is making himself physically ill, just thinking about recess and the drama that comes.
His BFF J'Man has come home with foot print bruising right over his kidneys as well as a long (5-6 inches) fingernail scratch on his chest.


My son has been pushed down the steps twice and hit once in class. The kid that hit him, is not the playground bully and has been moved to another class.
Now the hard issue is my son has speech issues, he is in speech therapy, but due to the fact that he didn't really start talking until he was four - he is behind the other kids.
Which makes it hard to understand his description of the bully.
His BFF is a great talker - but scared of repercussions and has been unwilling to point out the bully.

Over time I have pulled both his Teacher and the Principal into this matter and they are both willing to get to the bottom of it.
First and foremost for me though was getting my son to last a full day at school.
So today, bag in hand I went to the school and helped out in his class all morning long.
His teacher - being wonderful - allowed him to stay in during recess.

Hopefully soon this will be taken care of and my son will be able to enjoy recess once again. Until then though, I will be at the school in the mornings.
Doing whatever it takes to get my son safely through another day.

Now this is becoming a HUGE problem! Not just because of this bully, but all the "bullies" that have been put back into the Salt Lake County School District this year.
You see due to budget cuts, they downsized special needs classes as well as behavioral classes. 
So in a state that has the highest amount of Autistic kids in the nation, not to mention societies worsening parenting problems and the behavior issues that are coming from it.
Instead of increasing our teachers for the flux of kids that need the extra help - they keep decreasing it!

If you have ever thought to yourself that you don't need to worry about budgets for special needs children because your kid isn't one - think again. If a kid with violent behavior doesn't have a class to go to - he ends up in a class with yours.
This is something that affects EVERY child, not just some.

I truly feel for my son's teacher and principal. They don't want these issues. They know that several kids in the school shouldn't be here - in fact last week a boy was taken out of the school in handcuffs because he broke another child's hand!
They also have to work within a broken system.
They have to wait until the ticking time bomb goes off and hurts someone before they can re-force the school system to place that child back into an appropriate class.

My nephew, has Autism. My nephew is wonderful and I love him. He is also in a behavioral class because he is a violent child. Luckily, he is not in Utah and will not be placed back into an open classroom - not for several more years.
Both families need the help! Mine to keep from being bullied and my sisters to keep her son from hurting others and himself.

Its rather odd that while I am going through this with our family today's viral news is of a media Anchor getting bullied for being, "FAT".
Showing that bulling is not just a childhood issue.
Her response to a very idiotic bully was amazing - READ HERE.

This is yet another reason that I support DOVE, for trying to change people's views on "the right look."
I am proud of this news team for having a "heavier" woman as an anchor.
Yes obesity is a bad thing, yes its a growing trend.
However, so is Anorexia. 
Being happy and accepting yourself is key!
Labels and cruel words are not okay - at any age or for any reason.

As a chunky woman I can attest that losing weight is NOT easy. I don't want to be fat. I don't want to have my middle baby tire.
Its not something I choose to keep.
I am eating "right" and increasing activity in my life.
But to have someone judge me, or others like me just because we don't fit the ideal image, well that says alot about you.

Please talk to your children - make sure you know what is going on. Also be aware of your negative words - they do hurt.

Beauty For Ashes

Isaiah 61:3

New Living Translation (NLT)

³ To all who mourn in Israel,^[a]
    he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
    festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
    that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

How many times in life have you heard or said, God must have allowed it? I'm sure he had a purpose for ___? I'm sorry that happened BUT maybe it was for _____?

WRONG! Very very wrong! The Bible says - 

John 10:10

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁰ The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

The thief being Satan and MY being Jesus/GOD. 

Bad things happen. They happen everyday to good people. People that have angels and families that love them.

They don't happen because GOD says to himself, this horrible thing will help my child. They happen because Satan is doing all he can to hurt, destroy and kill your happiness, your life and your future.

However, God can turn bad things into beautiful things. He can turn the horrible into the incredible.

My garden inspired me. I had this talk for about the 8th time with a beautiful woman who I love dearly. People continue to judge her, lie to her and try to hurt her - even by trying to validate the abuse she suffered.

While I was mulling over a better way to illustrate verses and ideas she has heard and read a thousand times, I gardened.

I have a fire place, I save all the ashes from my fireplace to add to my garden soil. Because it adds the best nutrients into the ground.

Its also one of the major reasons that people live next to live volcano's. Hawaii is the best example I know of. The plant life is lush, the seasons warm, the land filled with plenty. However, a horror is always looming. Doom can descend at any time.

Volcano's are one of the MOST destructive powers in the natural world.

It can't be reasoned with.

It can't always be predicted.

It can't be protected against.

You run or you die.

It kills without discrimination.

Everything in its path dies.

The air is death.

The ash is death.

The heat is death.

and yet... when its over life springs forth stronger and more vibrant. 

Just like a volcano, rape, abuse, hurt, pain & betrayal, can be the most destructive force in a persons life.

Many people commit suicide due to how fearful or un-hopeful they become.

God's promise of, Beauty for Ashes, is evident whereever a volcano explodes. If he can over come the most destructive force in nature and quickly too, so can he heal your hurt and turn a bad thing into a good thing.

Using a bad experience or a bad thing in your life for God's glory doesn't mean that "it was meant to be." Or that you were destined for that pain - but it can take the bad and use it for good. 

The best thing a person can do is allow God to heal the pain and to then use it to help heal others.

Taking the victory away from Satan.

The volcano doesn't disappear, nor does the damage of what has happened in your life.

The ash doesn't get swept away.

However, it becomes something more - something better.

 

Autism Acceptence/Awareness

A year ago I wrote a post titled, Who has been robbed or blamed? That went over quite well, for a while at least. I even gained followers rather then lose them. (I might this time, though)
Today in honor of Autism Awareness day (light it up blue) my BFF writer of Speaking on the Spectrum, wrote another (shocking!) post on why the Autism Community needs to SHUT UP and get along!

I don't know what drama triggered her anger this time (I know what triggered mine a year ago)

So here we go again.

S.O.P.A & other various rants

Tomorrow we (the anti SOPA ~ non military government people) will be observing internet silence.

Jan 18th 2012 from 8am-8pm (est)

So behind...

I have so much to catch up on.

Weight loss
Weddings
Girls night outs
Hair cuts
Autism walks (this Saturday!)
Cooking
Gardening
And how all of a sudden I am not only awake but cleaning my house.

First up - R.I.P Steve Jobs

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do....

~ (Steve Jobs) Apple Inc.
1955-2011 R.I.P.
You will be missed.

Also this Sunday my little girl turns 8!
This is so amazing, I remember every detail of her birth.
I remember who was their, what stupid things were said. How close I came to dying... Ah the good times.
I will be posting a special post Sunday to remember my girl over the years.

I have not stopped blogging. I love blogging.
However, I have woken up.
I am cleaning away and reorganizing 6 years of neglect and Irma (My Friend Irma) like behavior.
I have not been on due to the amount of work I have been doing - as well as working out.

Also my camera is dying... and I am heartbroken. So I haven't been able to take a lot of photos to share.
I miss you all. I miss running by and reading all of your posts. I promise to catch up soon.
I promise I will be back.

Autism Walk Support

Walk For Autism

Click Here to Donate


Alright I suck.
I am walking next month to raise money and awareness for Autism and what have I raised so far? That's right ZIP!
Why?
Because I suck at begging.
I also suck at sales.


Did I ever tell you that I tried selling Mary Kay? One month of nothing and I gave up - I knew without a shadow of a doubt sales was not something I should ever try again.


Supporting friends and great causes, however, have me back to trying to gain some form of support. Please Please Please Please Please and PRETTY Please think about giving a 20.00 dollar donation for me to walk my heart out the morning of my daughters 8th birthday party.


If I am willing to walk and show support instead of spending the day getting ready for a party - a party I will have to cater, decorate and manage surely someone who sort of likes me, somewhere will be willing to sponsor a few dollars to show they support me.


My BFF (Tired Mom) has two children with Autism. One is improving and taking off at an amazing pace the other, at the moment, is going backwards. Please help show support in helping families that face more challenges and heartache then you can imagine.
The struggles to get through one day and a night are more than most parents face in a month.

Everyday new breakthrough's are coming forward, new research and studies helping to understand this great threat to the children of the future. They have found so far 2 different strands of DNA that put in the right link in the chain trigger Autism.
So far there is no cure.
The numbers are staggering and even worse they are climbing steadily - each year more children are born with Autism.


My personal goal is to raise 200.00 but I would love to raise even more. Please support me and my team. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my begging!
Love to all!

Fly Away - Movie 2011

 

Fly Away - Movie Review

On Rotten Tomatoes they had the nerve to rate this movie as a C.
Biggest complaint that I could see was how it ends - or rather doesn't.

Lets face facts, any family that is living with an Autistic child or adult can explain (patiently and normally using small words lets face it - its a habit) Autism is life.
Each day can bring miracles and pain.
Challenges and Joys.
But it doesn't end.

Very few that are diagnosed with Autism will lose their "label" by adulthood. The movie doesn't end because life does not end.
Instead it ends with hope, not some fake happily ever after.

I found the movie to be a gem. The young Mandy is in the middle of the spectrum, she can learn, she can speak. She is severe enough that she needs specialized care and handling.
Its a movie that can touch most families on the spectrum. Even better its a movie I would recommend to many family members of those with Autism - Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and assorted others that live near the spectrum.


Each family is different, each family faces different challenges and yet there are some challenges that ALL on the spectrum face. They all face rounds of doctors, therapies and interviews with schools.

For my children I filled out a few papers, showed their shots cards and POOF! my children are placed into school.
For those on the spectrum it means several doctors visits, mounds of paper work, interviews with several schools and programs until they are finally accepted into a program. So a family that is already stressed and frazzled must go through TEN times the crap to get into a school then me a not so stressed parent.
It just doesn't seem fair and yet their is no end in sight.

Beautiful movie - I cried repeatedly, laughed and Awed. You will too!

Meetings, Autism and my BFF

Last night my BFF and I went to a Symposium at the library downtown.

In order the speakers of the night were Mr. Micheal Hartman (Dean of Special Ed U of U), Ms. Michelle Wagner member of the U of U school board & Mrs. Gailynn Gluth Founder of Wynsum Arts LLC.

While this was supposed to be about apps and Autism follow the link at the top and you will see it really was more of a concept meeting getting response from others to see if it will take off.

Star Trek and Autism?

A few months ago on one of the Autism pages on Facebook (no clue which one) I and my BFF answered a question.

The question was, "Are there any movies or tv shows that show an Autistic or Asspie type person learning to interact with those around them?"

Answer came pouring in, by the time I read through and responded I was somewhere in the hundreds of comments. I had read most of the answers before me and had been disheartened by what I read.

Instead of ANSWERING her question, they were simply naming movies that had an Autistic person in them.
For multiple reasons this doesn't actually mean that they are showing How that person Interacted with others. There are a few that show interaction, but not many.

I had to think HOW to answer without making people mad, and giving the person the answer they were seeking.
It went something like this, "To see long term social interaction I recommend watching Star Trek. Data, 7 of 9 and Spock all had to learn to "fit" in with those they didn't fully understand. Both Data and 7 of 9 had to learn social cues, facial response and recognition, humor and each found friendship."

Farther down the list I had a few that praised my thinking of the series and how it would relate as they had only been thinking of those with the large labeled A on them.

For a week now a letter has been sitting in my inbox from a mother who read my post and took it to heart for her then 13 year old son. I told my BFF last night about the response and she encouraged me to "Blog it" as it might benefit more out there who didn't read the one day conversation.

To respect names and privacy I will be rewording and shortening her response leaving out names and other personal details.

To T-
Thank you so much for your response to the question (see above). I and my son have literally watched hundreds of movies since that conversation and out of all of them, your recommendation was the best.
My son J liked the movies about him, but didn't learn much about interacting. Until Star Trek. I want you to know that his 14th birthday party was a Star Trek bash including 4 "new" friends from school.
His favorite person on the shows (so far) is Data. He loves how while Data does try to learn, he gains acceptance from those around him by not pretending to be like them, but simply by being himself.
Thank you for understanding the question that someone else asked, I don't know if your response helped them but it has helped my son J.

Respectfully S-


So for those out their with children heading into teen-hood or already there that might help seeing someone "similar" to them, learning how to interact, make friends and find acceptance for who they are. I recommend the series. Best part is that they are a cleaner show, low sexual situations and language.

You might end up with a Trekkie on your hands, but if they are standing in line dressed up as Data NEXT to their best friend it might be worth it.

Star Trek The Next Generation - Data - Male sentient robot.
Star Trek Voyager - 7 of 9 - Female human turned and raised as a machine then brought back into humanity.
Star Trek Original Series - Spock - a Vulcan who represses emotions and lives and thrives on Logic
If your on a budget you can get a disk at a time through Netflix.

I am also making a page up at the top of my blog linking all of my Autism rants into one area for those that follow my blog for the occasional rant, and so if you need to refer someone to one of the rants it will be easier. :)
Also I still need people to support my Walk for Autism - please click the blue thermometer on the side of my page!

As always each person on the spectrum is vastly different I know that what advice I am giving will only affect a percentage. However, its nice to look outside the box and find things that may help.

Hope everyone is having a great and wonderful day!
The sun is calling me and I am going to go play in dirt now!

Bloggers without Borders

Bloggers without Borders (BwoB) is a blogger-based charity whose mission is to help people—bloggers and readers alike—by harnessing the good will of the blogging community. Its founders are Maggy Keet of ThreeManyCooks, Erika Pineda-Ghanny of The Ivory Hut, Julie Van Rosendaal of Dinner with Julie, and Aimee Wimbush-Bourque of Simple Bites. BwoB officially launches in July 2011.

It's been about 36 hours since we launched Bloggers without Borders and our fundraising efforts for tornado victims, so we thought it was time for a progress report. As of midnight, we had raised over $1,200 for tornado victims across the United States. We can't thank you enough for your quick and generous response.

After launching our Joplin campaign, another blogger with another need came to our attention. Kristan of Confessions of a Cookbook Queen lives 5 minutes from where another tornado hit in Arkansas. Fortunately, lives were spared, but her uncle---a father of four who doesn't have much insurance---lost the family business when his flooring store was flattened. Family homes were also severely damaged and the overall loss is heartbreaking.



Kristan's uncle's family store.

When she learned of Kristan's situation, Shelia, our Joplin recipient, generously offered to share half of the fundraising proceeds with Kristan's community. "There is so much need that we definitely need to spread the love," she said. Kristan will distribute her share of the funds to the most urgent of situations in the Etna/Denning, AR community. She will also give us an update on her blog and share how the money was allotted. Truly, this is bloggers helping bloggers.

As we watch the news and the updates that are coming from these tornado-stricken areas, we feel such deep sadness for these people who have lost everything. Many of you expressed the same sentiment but we no longer feel helpless or hopeless, because together as bloggers, we are actually doing something to help in a real and meaningful way.

Our goal is to raise at least $2,000 so that we can give each blogger and her community $1,000. Please help us reach that goal!

And for those who already have donated, thank you for your support. Your tweets and blog posts touch us, and they encourage us to forge ahead. There is much need, yes, but together we're making a difference.


With gratitude,

Bloggers without Borders

Want to spread the word? Want to help us raise money? E-mail us and we'll send you the code for the BwoB badge and donate button.

To see and here other reasons to help please click here.

Reform and Cuts

I have heard this word A LOT! Anyone living in the USA have heard this, we hear it every time we turn around! The strange thing for me is that I hear it in both in a double negative.

WE NEED TO STOP SPENDING SO MUCH!

THEY NEED TO STOP WASTING MONEY

to

DUE TO BUDGET CUTS THEY CLOSED MY PROGRAM!!!

WHY DID THEY CUT THAT FROM THE LIST!

Yes I know this post is going to go down in infamy as the NASTY post, but lets face reality.

Our government is BROKE!

We need to find other ways to do things besides asking the government to do it all - either that or we can keep going broke, watch the fall of our country and then live in a police state/dictatorship and understand truly what going without is like.

 We need to get Creative!

One of my fellow bloggers posted about how her childs Sensory Room is going under without enough funding.

1. Did you ask them if they had explored alternatives?

2. Did you ask if they had thought about renting rooms from their host families and breaking up the building into homes?

3. Did you ask if you could BUY some of the things before it closed?

4. Did they seek PRIVATE funding before closing?

So your center that has been helping you is going under... What can you do to help?

Lets get proactive and help our "Services" find a different way to survive without needing the government.

I know many can not spend any extra money but you can host time and resources so if one of your "things" is going under. Make a list of what could help them, make another list of what YOU could do to help and then go in and talk with them!

Expecting them to go it alone is the best way to watch what you need shrivel up and die.

Come on America! We used to do everything for ourselves!

Has our government crippled us in our need for them?

Lets find solutions to the problems - lets find ways to have what we need while 

PAYING off our countries massive debt!

Before we can pay it off - we need to LAY off!

and yes I know, you don't like me very much right now, do you?

What has been Robbed? Or Blamed?

As many of my readers know that while I am not a mother of an Autistic child, I am the Aunt and Fake Aunt to several.
Yesterday I read two very disturbing posts. One made me angry and I wanted to go kick some... well some. The other has left me sad, morose and worse Prose.

Lets work on the worse and shortest blog first.

My BFF Tired Mom, who also writes an All things All the time Autism blog named Speaking on the Spectrum, was recently told that ITS HER FAULT that her two precious children have Autism!

Now I grant you. she and I talk a lot about different things that might have effected her children, what Autistic parent doesn't wonder that? We mostly agree that it might be in either the DNA or the genetic material linking the DNA.
It could also be pollution messing with our molecules and scrambling the DNA around a bit. I don't know and neither does she, we like everyone else in the world, just speculate.

So in her defense and the defense of any other special needs child - UNLESS YOU CAN GIVE 100% PROOF THAT ITS SOMEONES FAULT- SHUT THE HELL UP!

Next up is a blog from Fruity Pebbles for Dinner where she talks about the differences between saying "Autism robbed me of my son".
Some Autistic families feel this deeply. Others lash out remarking on what unique and wonderful children they have Autism included.

I answered her saying that from all my years watching from the outside, my hubby watching, teaching and working with (adults and children with special needs) we have found all special needs families to have one thing in common, one special link in the chain, one special need. The Need to be HEARD.

Be advised this is where the prose come in.

I have seen so much in fighting between parents of special needs children. Fighting over the use of words (cure/ heal/ fix/retard/ robbed/ fault...) fighting over whether to vaccinate or not, fighting over whether to go public or private. Wanting acceptance vs empathy. Fighting over what caused it in the first place.

I have heard more times that I can count, "I want my child to learn empathy." As well as, "I want others to treat my child with empathy."
So my question and worry is - If your not willing to show it and share it with someone who is going through the same battle, why would any one else?
If your not going to learn it, give it or display it - than should others give it to you?

You all talk about your Angels, your brave boys, but never about the crazy mama who wants everyone to get on HER band wagon when she has not time or compassion for anyone else - can't see that anyone else might have a different opinion because they have a different child?

Lets look at this another way. Each person is a piece of the puzzle. Each child on the spectrum is vastly different from the other one. So the place that one piece fits, is not the place that another fits.
If you try to cram the wrong piece into the wrong place you will not make a complete puzzle - Just a mess.

Yes your child needs you to fight for them, yes your child needs you more than anyone else. BUT what your going through and what your struggling with IS NOT what another family is going through. Their needs are NOT the same.

Its time we started listening to each other, its time the fighting stopped and the true healing started.
Does it really matter if they find a cure tomorrow? Not really. It will take years of research, testing and studies before it could ever really help.

So what matters is learning to CARE, really to truly care, about the others that are walking under the same banner, the same stigma, the same healthcare problems, the same school issues, reaching out listening without being rude and just CARE!

Fruity Pebbles for Dinner has the right to post a blog without apologizing for it at the beginning! Without trying to stave off an argument!

I have said this before, but sometimes it helps to have someone else say this for you (or in this case to you) it helps to have someone from the outside looking in. Someone who is not apart of the same part of puzzle but looking at it from a different angle and point of view.

Autism Month

I have written about this before, I have ranted on this subject many a time.

As this month comes to a close I am going to rant again. I know big surprise right? Me rant about something! No way! This time what I am going to rant about is something that many Autistic mothers can fully understand - its something called being the "Young Mother Syndrome."

This syndrome shows up every where, family, friends, church and even worst of all the Doctors Office! Oh no there is nothing wrong with your child, your over reacting because your a "young mom". I use air quotes because one of my friends a now 31 year old mother of two is still being labeled and dismissed as a young mother. So when does this label fall off? How many times does the mother have to be right to prove to people that she DOES know what is going on with her children better than anyone else?

Biggest problem I find is that if THEY (whoever it is that is labeling you at the moment) don't immediately see the problem it then is only in your head. When they tell you that your child is fine, that some children are just delayed and its not big deal, press the issue. Find a way to PROVE your point. For my best friend her child (second child) is fine in a closed dr.s office with no distractions, people, children or noises, hence he is NORMAL. Great right! I know I can only wonder at how that has become the basis of 'normal'. 

My advice to my BFF was to video tape her son for a few days to a week and then put the footage into an easily viewed clip. Her sister then spent two days filming him, filming his ticks, quirks and meltdowns. This time when she walks into the office to speak to the dr. she will be empowered and will be able to get the doctor past his "young mother" idea and into SEEING the CHILD. You know the one he was supposed to be paying attention to in the first place.

A mother is a mother no matter her age. No stigma should be put on the "young" or the "old" mother.

Again for those that have Autistic families in your circle please take a few moments to read up on the subject, find out what you can do to help them personally. Each child/person has their own ticks, likes and dislikes. No Autistic families will not say things as strongly as I will for them. Why? Because they are trying hard to make a world that will include their children. Not alienate everyone around them. We need to bridge the gap between helping and hurting.

I am walking for Autism - I desperately need people to support me financially, all the money goes straight to Autism Speaks. They fund research, grants, awareness and help Autistic families in many different ways. If you would like to sponsor me please click HERE or the blue thermometer on the side of my page to go to the direct link. Thank you for not only reading, sponsoring but for your support of others, no matter how different they are from you!

Earth Day 2011

 Good Friday!

Now while some people want to make a big hullabaloo about Global warming. Like this guy who wants everyone to see the beautiful parts of the world before its all gone.
For me I am more of a believer that its not global warming as much as its the climates changing, again.
Don't get me wrong, I take care of my planet. Not out of fear but because I can and because I think litter is gross.
I think you should recycle because you can - we have the intelligence and ability to do it - so why continue to waste the items in a useless landfill?
I think reducing, reusing and recycling is not only smart for the planet, but for your wallet.

Buying things greener are also normally more healthy not only for the planet but for you the consumer. Buying organic food vs pesticide filled food is healthier for you AND the planet. See win win.

Now back to climate changing, I live in Utah. A very long time ago my whole state was apart of a lake, this lake sprung a leak a thousand or so years ago and created the grand canyon. (Yes popular scientific theory has that down as a slow leak of millions of years but really?! A giant lake that is no longer there and a big ravine tell me something a little different.) Southern Utah has evidence of being a lake, a swamp, farm land and now a dessert.
Its a cycle, do I know what is coming next for Utah? Nope, Luckily I know it won't ever become a giant lake again - we do have that large handy ravine that would funnel it all to Arizona - nice right?
Hahaha I know I'm evil, but I recycle so its ok!

 

Autism

April is Autism Awareness Month, April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day. April 11th is Parkinson Disease Day.

Alright I am adding in the last part, mostly because my Husband, age 37, is going in on Monday to be tested for Parkinson's.

I have two major issues with this:
1. I watched a very young and good man die of this when I was younger, so I do know what comes with this diagnosis.
2. My husband does have many of the symptoms and even many of the early signs, that go undetected, and have been prevalent for years.

Back to Autism Awareness (the other I really can't deal with right now) like many people, I have at least one family member that has Autism and my best friends two children have been added to the spectrum. Her son is still undergoing testing, but there is no doubt in our minds!


I have said this before, but it bears repeating. The best thing you can do for people that are caring for someone with special needs is to be there.

It can be to just listen, to sit with someone while they run to the store or to offer a kind word and a smile.

If you have family or a close friend - read up on what they are going through, ask questions and then most importantly, ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP!!!

Please don't think babysitting for them, bringing them food, flowers or toys, or anything else will actually be of help unless you have already TALKED to them! Each family is different in their wants and needs.

Most of the time special needs families need TIME more than anything else.

They need playmates for their children, with parents willing to help the play be good for both sides.
They need someone to listen to them and allow them to vent whatever frustrations or annoyances are happening in their lives.
They may need help in raising funds for walks (hint hint).
They may need help with passing certain legislation.
They may also need a girls or boys night out.

What they don't need:

To be told what they are going through isn't real.
Unwanted criticism or unfeeling advice.
To be told that they are bad parents and that their children are just spoiled.
To be told that THIS is THEIR fault!
--- Yes! To any of you thinking it, my BFF has been told all of the above - more often then you might think!

Also if they seem to not care that much because you got a flat tire or had a really really bad hair day don't take it personal. They are dealing with something that completely takes over their lives and makes other things seem small and trivial. Please understand they would trade ANYTHING! for your problems to be the biggest thing in their lives.

Next up, in support of my best friend and her family, I am walking for Autism this year in October. We have already started our donation page and you can donate to it at anytime! Do not worry if you go to donate the money comes out now, so you don't have to worry about a surprise deduction several months from now.
My Team "Spectrum Soldiers" donation page link. 

Also never fear I will walk, even though this is the same day I will also be throwing my daughters 8th birthday party.
Somethings are important and need to be taught to the next generation. Also this not only for my BFF, but our children are best friends with her children and will want to support them!

To learn more about Autism please visit my BFF's page called Speaking on the Spectrum. A very useful site where you can find all the information. News links, Articles, Science, Medical, Inspirational, Personal Stories, anything Autism related and you can find it here!

Yes, I know I speak strongly about this. I love many people that are affected by this and wish to raise awareness not just to the word Autism, but to the people. I don't just want to help in finding a cure, but for finding compassion for those affected.

 For my son's best friend, for someone he sees as normal.