I have written about this before, I have ranted on this subject many a time.
As this month comes to a close I am going to rant again. I know big surprise right? Me rant about something! No way! This time what I am going to rant about is something that many Autistic mothers can fully understand - its something called being the "Young Mother Syndrome."
This syndrome shows up every where, family, friends, church and even worst of all the Doctors Office! Oh no there is nothing wrong with your child, your over reacting because your a "young mom". I use air quotes because one of my friends a now 31 year old mother of two is still being labeled and dismissed as a young mother. So when does this label fall off? How many times does the mother have to be right to prove to people that she DOES know what is going on with her children better than anyone else?
Biggest problem I find is that if THEY (whoever it is that is labeling you at the moment) don't immediately see the problem it then is only in your head. When they tell you that your child is fine, that some children are just delayed and its not big deal, press the issue. Find a way to PROVE your point. For my best friend her child (second child) is fine in a closed dr.s office with no distractions, people, children or noises, hence he is NORMAL. Great right! I know I can only wonder at how that has become the basis of 'normal'.
My advice to my BFF was to video tape her son for a few days to a week and then put the footage into an easily viewed clip. Her sister then spent two days filming him, filming his ticks, quirks and meltdowns. This time when she walks into the office to speak to the dr. she will be empowered and will be able to get the doctor past his "young mother" idea and into SEEING the CHILD. You know the one he was supposed to be paying attention to in the first place.
A mother is a mother no matter her age. No stigma should be put on the "young" or the "old" mother.
Again for those that have Autistic families in your circle please take a few moments to read up on the subject, find out what you can do to help them personally. Each child/person has their own ticks, likes and dislikes. No Autistic families will not say things as strongly as I will for them. Why? Because they are trying hard to make a world that will include their children. Not alienate everyone around them. We need to bridge the gap between helping and hurting.
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