Cinder Garden and a Lovely Mess

Saturdays always start out rough for me. G'man will come in and wake us up - early. He doesn't know how to sleep in. Hubby once awake can not return to sleep - EVER. I adore this man, but this is a serious failing.
At this point in the morning I always burrow into the blankets and try to pretend the world doesn't exist. I am accomplished at this.
Hubby will make coffee and then return to tease, tickle and finally drag me from the bed. Its our game - don't judge, we end up giggling like kids, while our kids judge us loudly.

Yesterday during the burrow stage I got a message from my friend Sara! They wanted to meet for breakfast!
Hubby knew something was up when I jumped from the bed and started dressing - by choice.
20 min later and we were sitting down to eat with our long time friends Shayne and Sara.

After breakfast we head out to Ikea - today is the day I get a new mattress! Also I don't have photos but my hubby fixed the microwave saving us a few hundred! (Ladies always marry someone handy!)

We found a firm foam mattress and had the two store employees laughing. I guess we aren't the normal type of people who try out mattresses. No one else laid down, rolled over, bounced and kicked each other... some people are just boring.

We headed home much poorer than when we set out, but very happy.

After dumping our old mattress in a dumpster nearby we headed home to attack our backyard projects.

First off the kids (mine and ALL the neighborhood kids) decided to help paint. We will need to repaint the lettuce box and pull the pink paint from Patches face (the girls got him).
Our neighbors are moving, they had TONS of cement retaining wall blocks in their driveway for a project they never got around too - to make a long story short we helped them clean up their driveway and we got the blocks!
Hubby is making a new kitchen garden for the small veggies right next to the kitchen!
Dirt for this area will arrive Monday afternoon!
Yes, I am spoiled. No I will NEVER find someone who spoils me as much as he does.

I adore project days! Also I LOVE the new mattress! Its hard but still comfortable.
I am still at 208 but am getting loser in my clothing so I am sure that once again I am exchanging fat for muscle. My arms are sore right now from all the lifting. Each one of those blocks weighs between 80-100 pds EACH.

I have to run now - I have dishes, a quick run to the store and then a friend is coming over!
Let the good times roll!

Goals and Catching Up

I know that its been almost two years since I've blogged regularly. So what happened? Well if you followed me for a while or read through my, Path to Me, posts you would know that I've been working on finding me again.
The snarky, feisty, loudmouthed trouble maker that I missed terribly, but had become to tired and depressed to be.
Two years ago I WOKE UP.
Fully and completely.

Around the same time my husband went in for gastric bypass surgery and started to have seizures. He has dropped from 365 pds to 209!!!

Hubby when he's bored and missing me at work

He is still having seizures - they are growing more frequent and terrifyingly we haven't been able to determine the cause.
Thankfully he is on a medication that has minimized the effects of the seizures and has stopped them from being severe.

Due to his amazing progress in weight loss my darling hubby put money aside so that I could go in for the surgery as well. When he went in I weighed 236 pds. This Jan. I've finally managed to reach 216 pds.
Twenty pounds isn't something to be sad about, but still in a year in a half I wanted more progress so I agreed to undergo surgery.
HOWEVER - while I may be fearless about many things, I'm a HUGE chicken butt when it comes to hospitals!
The next day after agreeing to meet with a doctor for surgery I started HARD work on the treadmill. Starting with 60 min a day. After a week moving up to 90 min and now I am at 100 min a day.
I am down to 208 pds. and will continue to work my BUTT (quite literally) off!

I would rather cut out junk food, soda and work hard then have invasive life altering surgery. I have also agreed with my over clever husband that if I slack off and stop - I go in.
He is afraid for me. He is afraid that something could happen to both of us. Which coming from a long family line of heart issues on both sides of my family, I have to admit, his fear for me is valid.

The best thing about getting my spark back? My sense of fun?
I have more energy. I'm more creative. More active. My life the past two years has been FILLED!

To add to the fun list of things I need to catch you guys up on, my husband spent a weekend a few weeks ago and built a chicken coop from scratch. (Yes, he really is that good)
We have 9 chickens at the moment living and stinking up his office/my workout room. Tomorrow we will finish the outside fence of the coop and get them outside!
(You have NO idea how happy I am about this!)
I will post photos soon. Maybe even tomorrow but I can't make promises.
We will be hard at work getting the outer fence up, as well as running a power line from the back of the house to the coop so they won't freeze at night.

So in the quick brief bit I managed to write out - I'm awake, alive, causing mayhem and getting projects done!

Tickets? Pentatonix and Kelly Clarkson

My best friend and I... what can I say? In some ways we are identical to the point of it being scary!
However, there are a few things we are polar opposites on! (food, movies, books)
Music is our one in between.
We like several of the same artists, adore and sing many of the same songs, but when it comes to concerts.... we DON'T.
16 years of BFF craziness and not one concert. We've sung in the car, on campus, around people, at people, clubbing and the odd random moments in the grocery store.
I've gone to TONS of concerts. She has gone to TONS as well.

So this year when my all time favorite group Pentatonix came into Orem, Ut. (still quite far from me) I didn't go.

However, when they announced they were joining up for a summer tour with Kelly Clarkson.... well my BFF might have gone nuts!

One of her favs and my fav's together? HECK YES! Not only did we score some amazing tickets! (Row G) but she became an exclusive member of Smith Tix, just so we could get them 4 days earlier!

Now the big question is what are we going to wear? I highly doubt that my hubby will allow me to make a shirt that says, "Property of Avi, return if lost."
Nor do I think I could get my BFF to wear a matching shirt... Good thing we have until Aug. 8th to figure this out!


Also for my long time readers I have been working out daily for 2 months and am losing the weight. FINALLY!
So I won't be buying any shirts for the concert until its closer since I am hoping to drop a size or two!

I would also like to thank our two amazing and sweet husbands who have put up with our craziness for years and will continue to do so with patient and loving smiles!
You two are both NUTS for putting up with us - but we adore you both!

Neurology and Everything Else

Where to start... I guess I would have to start explaining today, by starting with Monday. ps. this is a rather long post, but worth reading!

Monday hubby had a dentist appointment. Basic cleaning and to find out what was going on with a back tooth that was hurting (feeling like it was being pushed out).

As we drive down SR-111 (very middle of no where) I hear a very dreaded sound. Thump, thump, wump wump.

We pull over and Ta-Da! Flat tire!

I call the dentist to let them know we need to reschedule.

After spending around 20 minutes to acquire the spare and jack the car up to a manageable height. We run into a major snag.

I can't move the lung nuts. It isn't going to happen.

Hubby gets one lug nut off and then spends the next 10 minutes holding his tummy (where he had major invasive surgery two months ago) and trying not to cry.

Note to the new visitor of this blog - I am married to a very manly man. He does not cry. It takes more than you would imagine to get this man to cry over being hurt - ever! (I have seen him undergo 5 surgeries)

We call in help. Hubby's BFF JarHead and his very amazing Wife came to our rescue! ~ Thank you so much you two! ~

Now fast forward to today. A month ago we made an appointment to see a neurologist due to hubby's surgeries. The appointment was at 1 pm. I had made arrangements with my BFF for her to watch the kids.

BUT we had a dentist appointment that needed to be made up. Hence we got a 10:20 appointment this morning.

So here I am driving down SR-111, again, on the way to the dentist, again, and I BARELY miss hitting a doe! 

We make it to the dentist in one piece (Thank you Jesus!) and the kids and I get comfortable in the waiting room watching Despicable Me and then the first ten minutes of Meet the Robinson's.

Hubby comes out at 11:52! By this time I was getting worried about not making it to my BFF's and back up to the doctors!

Hubby has 15 cavities, an infection - needs a root canal, a few fillings and to remove and plug one of his teeth! All in all roughly 12,000! They are going to send us a mock up of plans and stages at varying prices for our tiny budget and we will go from there. 

This year we need to worry about the infected tooth, the rest can wait.

Now my hubby is very clean - the dentist was impressed with how clean his teeth are - the problem comes from bad diet as a child and extremely poor dental hygiene as a child. Also his C-pap might cause some damage to his teeth.

You just can't undo what's been done. 

We dropped off the kids and run to the Neurologist appointment - already both of us are drained!

Two hours later, we have a follow up, an EEG planned, new trial medication and most likely a diagnosis of Epilepsy. 

Nothing is definitive yet. Nothing solid. Nothing known.

However, Dr. Buchanan was a very well spoken, polite and knowledgeable doctor. 

We run grab the kids - who have amazingly been ANGELS (why don't they act like that HERE!?) and come home.

So to recap my week - broken garden hose, busted car tire, broken bathroom faucet, HUGE amounts of dental work, and a very large unknown in our future.

I think its safe to say we need prayers. I also would like to find the Angels that is holding my blessings. He seems to have gotten lost.

The good news? Hubby is down 78 pounds and I am down 18 pds. I had a bad week the week of my birthday and had to re-loose all the fun I had! 

Next week, I'm hunting an Angel.

Two Month weigh in and Health update

First off I am sorry I have not been blogging lately. Our life has taken a few turns that we didn't expect.

My darling hubby has lost a whopping 70 pounds exactly in two months!

 

I have lost 15!

While the surgery and diets have been amazing and we wouldn't want to go back, it has triggered something else.

What we are not sure of.

It started about two weeks after his surgery. He had a very scary grand mal seizure. (freaked the living crap out of me!)  Then he had a few more - then even more.

To make a very very long and scary two months short, we have been to the doctors, the ER and for a contrast MRI.

We have an upcoming appointment with a neurologist as well as an EEG and an ECHO.

The MRI did not come back great. In fact it has left us with more questions and heavy hearts while we wait to meet with the neurologist.

It showed a few "dead" spots in his brain as well as the fact that his brain is no longer functioning on the same level as most men his age.

This is all recent as we had an MRI done just 2 years ago.

As for current treatments - he is on an anti-seizure medication that has helped as he has only had 1 in the 9 days that he has been on it.

Needless to say this is scary for us. Right now we are waiting to find out more, waiting for more tests... I feel like parts of me are slowly coming undone.

The scariest part is all the research I have been doing. The fact that the may not be able to figure out what is happening. That it may continue to happen.

That my beloved could die from this has me more emotional than I can say.

So, I will blog more. Wait. Pray and of course update you when we know more.

 

A Long Weekend

Friday we took the kids to their school PTA Carnival. 

Saturday morning I woke to the news that a very good man and friend, Randy Chavez passed away.
Here is his obituary so that friends and family can attend the Memorial and Funeral. 

Later Saturday another friend of mine (a woman I baby sat for) died, no funeral information for her has been past on, but my humble respects to Gina Smedly's family.

Sunday we went to the zoo - Hubby has been house bound for two weeks and wanted to get out and be in clean air.
We made it through the Asian Highlands and the Arctic Exhibit before we had to turn around and come home. It was too much to soon. Hubby is still in lots of pain and his energy is very low. Right now at the Hogle Zoo they have several large animal statues done in lego's, due to our short trip we only saw three but we will be heading back soon, the blessings of a membership.

Today (Monday) is my husbands two week weigh in after the surgery - so far he is down a whopping 41 pounds!
I am down 6 pounds!
 

New Beginings

The black shirt is from Christmas - its the original before.

The red/hospital gown is after losing 20 pds in the two weeks before surgery.

He is home.

No more complications.

A few very long days of recovery and then we start to walk!

I have lost and gained back the 4 pounds and am still working on losing.

Healthy diet, exercise and sticking to it - should help.

This is the last stage on my Path to Me.

The first few stages were waking up, getting active, accomplishing goals and re-finding my sense of humor.

The last phase and the longest is to lose all the depression and baby weight that I gained.

Will keep you posted.

This is a little bit of the amazing moments that kept me away from my blog. Sorry, its been so long. Will keep you posted on our weight loss.

The hub's and recovery

Monday Hubby went in for Gastric Bypass Surgery.

He was supposed to come home today.

Supposed, is the key word.

There was a minor complication.

Minor as in, it won't cause any problems, need surgery ect ect.
Complication as in, he's not home.
Tomorrow they will x-ray him again, check his progress and decide whether or not to release him.

You see they have to check to make sure there aren't any holes. However, sometimes - like this time - they see something else.
The upper intestine was LARGE, filled with air. The small intestine wasn't moving. Two things can cause this, a blockage and a temper tantrum.
Luckily for my hubby his is due to a temper tantrum. (They have a very technical term for it) However its when the muscle refuses to squeeze again.
In other words its angry at being cut and throwing a baby fit.

On its own it will start to work again within a few days at max. They will go in and x-ray him again tomorrow and see if its moving yet.
If it is then he will be released.
If not he will spend another night in the hospital.
Thankfully all of this is covered by insurance.
As long as the doctor notes it in the charts (and he has) we have already met our out of pocket deductible so this is all a free ride.
Too bad its not more fun.

The kids and I, miss him, miss normal and frankly I think I could drive to the hospital blindfolded.

Will post photos hopefully tomorrow.
The good news is in the 2 weeks pre-surgery hubby lost 20 pounds! Can you imagine how quickly he might lose the weight over the next few months?
I really have to kick my butt into gear so I can catch up!

A long time with a long road

Its been two months since I have posted. I am sorry.
I have so many things I would love to share and document.
So many projects, activities, and family events that I have stored away wanting to share.

They were swept away with our recent choice. My husband is going in for Gastric Bypass Surgery, tomorrow.
For the past two weeks he has had nothing to eat, drinking only fluids and protein shakes.
I tried to follow the same diet as he did, I made it 2 days. Kid you not, I get grouchy without food!

Instead I swapped to eating breakfast (smaller portions and calories) and dinner (also smaller portions).
In the two weeks I have lost 4.5 pounds. Tomorrow we will find out how much hubby has lost.

We are determined to have our lives back.
Since this is a very physically demanding task - losing so much weight so quickly weakens you - we have been running around the house finishing off projects, getting the house as ready as we can for the next few months.

We have even worked more on the kids playground as they will be off school soon.
In the mean time while my husband is off work recovering (you have to be able to move around and his job is sedate) we are hoping to get some house painting done.
Today we finished fixing the out side lights, the leaky faucet and a few things out side.

Tomorrow at 1:30 pm we go in and he should be released to come home Tuesday.
 I will post more - hopefully some before and after photos as well!

CHAKRA and Me

Here are my Chakra test results that I took in my post yesterday. Read Here

CHAKRA TEST RESULTS FOR TELISHA

YOUR Root Chakra

is CLOSED

YOUR Sacral Chakra

is WEAK

YOUR Personal Power Chakra

is STRONG

YOUR Heart Chakra

is STRONG

YOUR Throat Chakra

is STRONG

YOUR Intuitive Chakra

is WEAK

YOUR Crown Chakra

is STRONG

                                                                     ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For the most part I agree with the scores. I don't believe that my Sacral being weak is true - then again few people can separate how they feel about themselves and sex. My sex life is fine (as I went into detail in Shocking Topic - Sex) my self image is what I might call practical.

I am practical in the fact that I look like a short fat garden gnome sans the dress.
I am practical that I have not lost G'man's baby weight.
I am practical that my spare tire is large enough for a semi truck.

See my self esteem is NORMAL for one who looks like me, just because my husband is delusional enough to find me sexually attractive and I am smart enough not to correct that delusion... well that leads to a still great sex life.

So now that you have taken the test, you have your results! What next you might ask?!
Now you click on the following links below in the areas that you are blocked or weak.

Root Chakra Help

Sacral Chakra Help

Personal Power Help

Heart Chakra Help

Throat Chakra Help

Intuitive Chakra Help

Crown Chakra Help 

Once again for some beliefs and faiths, this goes hand in hand. For my personal faith, well its gets murky. Many of my family believe that this is similar to voodoo.
I, obviously don't.
This is an ancient art that could be described as a precursor for psychology.
A way to bring the mind back into good health and well being, a way for you to do it yourself without having to go to a shrink.
My last year seeing a shrink was "O so fabulous!" NOT!
I would much rather work things out on my own. If I can, not by buying 5 thousand self help books, but from age old practical wisdom as in how to fix your chakra's.
The steps are simple, easy and can be done everyday.

They don't give any bad or dangerous advice, they don't even preach their own religion, rather it complements it.
Doing this does not require a change of faith, diet or dress code.
You don't change anything about you that you don't want to and just because its different doesn't mean that its bad.

So for all my family out there that started praying for me yesterday - really I'm good.
When my body is sick I pray for healing. When my heart hurts I run to God's throne or read my bible.
I know where my strength comes from to get through all of the stuff.
But really there are times I need to be able to take a test and pinpoint where I am having issues. Then not shrug them off or act like a martyr by telling myself, "I'm strong enough".
I was strong.
I knew my path.
I had my whole life mapped out.
Then I got married and had kids and guess what? I'm not.

So if you need the extra help - don't be afraid to find it. Right now I am adding spice to my life. I need to get my metabolism moving again. I need to get me moving again.
I also need to work on a few issues that have been keeping me, "on the couch" as it were.
Last year I tried Modern Medicine. It got me on meds that woke me up. Then I had a cold dose of reality and struggled with wanting to stay awake.
Now I am trying much older medicine, in the hopes that I will be able to find a few things to help me move forward.
Hopefully if you need help you can find it to. Whether here, in the bible or in some other way.

Ancient East Health

This post may offend many. I have a way of doing that even when I am trying so hard to be supportive - my last post, that will be soon deleted, titled Sorrows of the Heart is a good case in point. I just wanted to express my sorrow for the family in a nice way and was told I was horrible. I would like to say that I would never intentionally hurt someone like that.

This post goes against many of my religious and cultural beliefs OR should I say it goes against many of like minded religious peoples beliefs, as its not actually against anything that is in my bible.
What am I talking about?
Ayurveda, Dosha's, Chackras, Tai Chi, Yoga, Tea & Meditation.
Both India and China have ancient health "secrets". They have remained secrets mostly due to everyone elses ignorance.
Both Yoga & Tai Chi have different levels, physical, mental, diets and beliefs. If you don't believe the same things then don't. It has nothing (really nothing) to do with whether or not their physical and food beliefs can help you.
I know, I know, in a world of modern medicine we have a hard time thinking that herbs, spices and an ancient regime may actually be better at preventing disease then vitamins and yet, thousands of years of proof that they do help.

Ayurveda - The Three Dosha's 
Click here to find your Dosha
This is from India, its about bringing the body into balance.
Right now I am a Kapha/Vata
I need to up my spices and workout routine to help burn off the weight and regain my energy.

My sister and a few friends LOVE Yoga. I have tired yoga and when I was thinner I did enjoy it. I am too heavy right now to be amused at how my belly roll slides to the side while I attempt even the most basic form.
So I have started Tai Chi, which is great for people with health issues, old age, obese or other physical limitations.
Another great site is Every Day Tai Chi.
The point is to get moving. Can't run up the hill? Can't jog? Can't bend? Find a style that you can do.
Right now this gets me off the couch. This is a great way to wake up, get moving and to get motivated to hop on the treadmill and really work up a sweat - especially since you can do the stretching and winding down exersises to help your muscles!

Which brings me to Chakra's

Now many people get caught up in the belief of this as in you have to believe or you have to not believe.
When you go to your doctor they will ask you a set of questions. Each answers leads to further questions to help them pinpoint an area in your body that needs help.
Chakra's are the same but for emotions and mental health.
Click here to Test Your Chakra.
This explains Chakra's a little more clearly, but what it boils down to is how your emotions and reactions can cause physical issues in your body. Guilt, hate, bitterness, worry, stress and fear can make you physically ill and cause severe health issues.
Recognizing the issues and working through them can help bring you and your body into better health.

Never be afraid to look into Holistic, Herbal, Homeopathy and Ancient Health Secrets that can help you far better and longer than a pill from the doctor.
Doctors and modern medicine are for AFTER you are sick. All of the above is PREVENTING illness and promoting well being.

Doctors deal with the now and I love my doctor and my children's doctor and if you have an illness you need to see one (and follow their advice) if you have researched holistic remedies talk to you doctor and bring the research with you so that they can incorporate it safely with the medication you are on.
It is important for them to work hand in hand.
As always research is key. Being informed and working for your well being is important.
Good luck and may you be successful in a healthier and better life.

October - Anti Bullying Month

October

Its amazing with so many things going on that October is Anti-Bullying Month.

Yesterday, I was called (again) by my son. He had another accident. It was 10:11 am.
This is the second time in two weeks that he has had an accident at school before 10:15 am - which incidentally happens to be first recess.

Now I want to be clear - he is not having the accidents on purpose to come home or to get me to come to the school.
However - due to a bully at school - he is making himself physically ill, just thinking about recess and the drama that comes.
His BFF J'Man has come home with foot print bruising right over his kidneys as well as a long (5-6 inches) fingernail scratch on his chest.


My son has been pushed down the steps twice and hit once in class. The kid that hit him, is not the playground bully and has been moved to another class.
Now the hard issue is my son has speech issues, he is in speech therapy, but due to the fact that he didn't really start talking until he was four - he is behind the other kids.
Which makes it hard to understand his description of the bully.
His BFF is a great talker - but scared of repercussions and has been unwilling to point out the bully.

Over time I have pulled both his Teacher and the Principal into this matter and they are both willing to get to the bottom of it.
First and foremost for me though was getting my son to last a full day at school.
So today, bag in hand I went to the school and helped out in his class all morning long.
His teacher - being wonderful - allowed him to stay in during recess.

Hopefully soon this will be taken care of and my son will be able to enjoy recess once again. Until then though, I will be at the school in the mornings.
Doing whatever it takes to get my son safely through another day.

Now this is becoming a HUGE problem! Not just because of this bully, but all the "bullies" that have been put back into the Salt Lake County School District this year.
You see due to budget cuts, they downsized special needs classes as well as behavioral classes. 
So in a state that has the highest amount of Autistic kids in the nation, not to mention societies worsening parenting problems and the behavior issues that are coming from it.
Instead of increasing our teachers for the flux of kids that need the extra help - they keep decreasing it!

If you have ever thought to yourself that you don't need to worry about budgets for special needs children because your kid isn't one - think again. If a kid with violent behavior doesn't have a class to go to - he ends up in a class with yours.
This is something that affects EVERY child, not just some.

I truly feel for my son's teacher and principal. They don't want these issues. They know that several kids in the school shouldn't be here - in fact last week a boy was taken out of the school in handcuffs because he broke another child's hand!
They also have to work within a broken system.
They have to wait until the ticking time bomb goes off and hurts someone before they can re-force the school system to place that child back into an appropriate class.

My nephew, has Autism. My nephew is wonderful and I love him. He is also in a behavioral class because he is a violent child. Luckily, he is not in Utah and will not be placed back into an open classroom - not for several more years.
Both families need the help! Mine to keep from being bullied and my sisters to keep her son from hurting others and himself.

Its rather odd that while I am going through this with our family today's viral news is of a media Anchor getting bullied for being, "FAT".
Showing that bulling is not just a childhood issue.
Her response to a very idiotic bully was amazing - READ HERE.

This is yet another reason that I support DOVE, for trying to change people's views on "the right look."
I am proud of this news team for having a "heavier" woman as an anchor.
Yes obesity is a bad thing, yes its a growing trend.
However, so is Anorexia. 
Being happy and accepting yourself is key!
Labels and cruel words are not okay - at any age or for any reason.

As a chunky woman I can attest that losing weight is NOT easy. I don't want to be fat. I don't want to have my middle baby tire.
Its not something I choose to keep.
I am eating "right" and increasing activity in my life.
But to have someone judge me, or others like me just because we don't fit the ideal image, well that says alot about you.

Please talk to your children - make sure you know what is going on. Also be aware of your negative words - they do hurt.

Life and everything in between

Ok here is my life in little mini clips.

Financially we are struggling. This, however, is SO not a new thing in our lives so its not really news its just that right now I want to shoot someone for how they do taxes! Hubby worked 18 hours of over time but forgot to claim tax exempt on his pay check and yup - we got only 150.00 dollars of that over time - the government got the rest!

My daughter is SO far behind the rest of her class that her brother in kindergarten not only has better handwriting but may be smarter by the end of the year. Needless to say we are getting her tested for dyslexia and working with her every night to try to get her caught up. Last year was a VERY bad school year with a horrible teacher and a bad school. Have I mentioned yet how much I LOVE her new school?  I LOVE HER SCHOOL THIS YEAR!!!

Littleman LOVES kindergarten! He is doing great! He is also the boy with the attitude in class. Its funny their are several other little boys in his class that dress "tough" with leather jackets and spiked hair. My son, the cutie with the adorable dimpled smile, is the rebel.
His first day all the kids sat on the carpet and sang a hello welcome to class song - EVERY other kid in the room was singing, smiling or hugging their mama's, my kid however is looking at me with a stunned pained expression that clearly says, "Are you kidding me? Mama this woman is singing at me... MAKE HER STOP!"
Yup from that moment forward all the parents stopped watching the antics of their cute kids and started watching mine. He of course ate that up! At this moment though I am just happy he is not struggling and that while his teacher not only still sings at him but expects that he will actually learn and sing along, he still likes her. Thank God for small miracles!

Now this is partly my fault. With my daughter I played all the cute baby songs until my head almost exploded. With my son... well he grew up on Bon Jovi, Lenny Kravitz & Billy Joel. About the sweetest music he got was the Monkeys, the Beatles and Dean Martin. What can I say, my sanity was going after just one year of listening to songs about sunshine.

Thanksgiving is approaching and so far only the first floor of my home is clean - the basement is a disaster. This year like every year (we hope) in the future my sisters are coming in for thanksgiving, which means a ton of cleaning in my future!

I have also been losing weight. I am THRILLED about this. A few months ago I felt awake again. Alive again. Today I can only say that back then I was still in transition. I feel like I am ME again. So look out world! I am on FIRE!

Hubby is doing good - not sure what to do with me at the moment but he is a smart man. He smiles, hugs me and then moves to a safe distance! He remembers the old viberent, off the wall, scatic, insane schemer he married... he might have thought I mellowed with age but really it was just the depression. He is happy, though that the house is getting cleaner! ;)

As for patch (our dog) well he's more of a mama lover, follower, cuddler, and best friend then ever.

So behind...

I have so much to catch up on.

Weight loss
Weddings
Girls night outs
Hair cuts
Autism walks (this Saturday!)
Cooking
Gardening
And how all of a sudden I am not only awake but cleaning my house.

First up - R.I.P Steve Jobs

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do....

~ (Steve Jobs) Apple Inc.
1955-2011 R.I.P.
You will be missed.

Also this Sunday my little girl turns 8!
This is so amazing, I remember every detail of her birth.
I remember who was their, what stupid things were said. How close I came to dying... Ah the good times.
I will be posting a special post Sunday to remember my girl over the years.

I have not stopped blogging. I love blogging.
However, I have woken up.
I am cleaning away and reorganizing 6 years of neglect and Irma (My Friend Irma) like behavior.
I have not been on due to the amount of work I have been doing - as well as working out.

Also my camera is dying... and I am heartbroken. So I haven't been able to take a lot of photos to share.
I miss you all. I miss running by and reading all of your posts. I promise to catch up soon.
I promise I will be back.

Sprains and Pains

Yup, that's right.
I did it!
I sprained my ankle this morning walking back to my car after dropping off Little man and Prissy.
Waling across a mostly level pavement.
Have I ever mentioned how big of a klutz I am?

Yesterday we battled it out with Prissy and her bedroom in the end one large trash bag of toys made its way to the garbage can - I think she will keep her room clean now.
Have I ever mentioned how much I don't like the attitude she comes home with school with? We are working to re-teach her manners. As well as being clean.
This is the fun part of being a parent! (Yes I am being sarcastic)

On a good note I am still losing weight, I am down several pounds since I started losing - 12 pds in total so far and I am thrilled!

Arms, School, Car & Me

 

Prissy getting her cast off before and after photo

The arrow shows that even after six weeks of having five pins and a cast in her arm is still broken.

They had to take the cast off and get her arm moving or it won't regain full movement.

Everyday we do arm exercises working her arm into mobility - right now its half way there.

So as many have noticed I took some time away from blogging and facebook. Much has been happening.

Prissy started the second grade this week at her new school - she loves her new teacher, her class and the food at this school!
LittleMan starts kindergarten this next Monday going for half days. He already met his teacher and really likes her. I am grateful that the school is much closer to home.

Two weeks ago (round about) our car broke down. REALLY broke down. After some quick thinking we decided to trade it in and find something new.

We found a 2007 Dodge Grand Caravan - its a slightly darker blueish/purple then what is shown in the photo.
It has the stow and go seats - rides like a dream and I LOVE IT! Great thing it also uses less gas per mile then our old car so I am a very spoiled woman right now!

Now on to why I haven't been on for a while - as many of you know I have been searching for my old self. I have seen shrinks, doctors and have found diets to help balance things back into place.
I have fired my shrink - it doesn't do me any good to have someone sit there and constantly agree with me - if I wanted that I could talk to a mirror.
My doctor took what my shrink had tried to do (Zoloft and sleeping pills that kept me awake) kept the Zoloft but switched me to Melatonin.

Two nights of sleeping and the weight hasn't yet stopped pouring off of me - so far I am down about ten pounds without effort.
After a few months of sleep I should be able to stop the Zoloft, its a stop gap until my body catches up with the sleep. I hope that my diet - following the eating by blood type has helped balance out other chemical issues my body had been dealing with.

Now I know that sleep is important, but being a mother you get used to NOT sleeping. In fact due to my daughters Asthma issues I am even better at not sleeping then most parents. I haven't slept a full night long for almost 8 years. Until the melatonin. Ironically my Dr. told me to buy the 1 mg doses and then work my way up to 3 or 4 depending on what works for me. So far one is just fine.

After all the years of gaining weight - dieting, exercising and trying new things it was SLEEP that I needed. I feel much saner and closer to my old self then I have in years. I am praying that the weight loss continues, but feeling awake and energetic is enough for right now.

Life is crazy and busy - I have much around the house that I am catching up on but I will try to blog more often. ;)

Roses and Awakening

I am not a huge rose person.

However, I do love looking at them.

Today we did shed work

I will do a shed blog tomorrow as we are working on it then as well.

On to an update on my "Path to Me" Quest.

Awakening

This is a very good word for the past week.

I feel like I am waking up - as if my mind has been asleep for the last 6 years.

On the diet eating for blood types I have lost almost 4 pds now.

I have never lost weight so fast and I am very excited.

I have more energy

I feel better.

I am rewriting my books now that I am awake enough to handle the task of really fixing it.

Each day is a new experience.

I also have found a new walking partner

God is good!

I am hoping that getting my head, heart and body straight

that it will take some of the stress off my hubby.

I feel as if I have found my path.

I may only have taken a few steps 

but finding the right path

is most definitely the right first step!

Also my first pick of the summer!

They were SO GOOD!!!

Top Ten Foods I Miss

With my new diet - where I eat for my blood type (b) - I have had to give up foods that I love and that (according to this diet) will make me gain weight. And yes before I get a thousand comments that ALL the foods on my NOT list are healthy - I know. I have been following what everyone thinks is "Healthy" and I have gained weight. Cutting these foods I have lost weight. (Only 2 pds but in 1 week)

1. Chicken
2. Avacados
3. Tomatos
4. Coconut
5. Wheat
6. Corn
7. Pumpkins
8. Olives
9. Pepper
10.Peanuts

I am linking to Oh Top Ten by Oh Amanda

A Path to Finding Me.

The title, A Path to Finding Me, may sound dramatic, I assure you though, I do not feel that way.

Somewhere along the path I lost myself - it was very easy to do, as I will explain in a minute. The hard part is digging "her" out and finding "her" underneath all the rubble.
6 years ago my mother died from heart failure (ps my uncle her brother had a heart attack last night and needs prayer as he is in bypass surgery as I type.)

Due to my mothers earlier and sudden death, I had to take care of some things before I was really and truly allowed to grieve. Three months of things should have been enough, instead I was helping my sister with her upcoming wedding and moving to another state. As well as trying to find a new place for my family to move as well.
My husband had also had his first surgery and was recovering from that at the time of her death.

Fast forward 9 months, my sister and father were both newly married to their SO's and we had finished unpacking into a horrible and yucky but cheap apartment. I SHOULD have been able to take time for myself and grieve, instead I got pregnant and my daughter started having severe asthma issues from where we were living.
So instead of grieving I started sleeping - ALOT. I stopped taking care of myself and didn't care.
By the time my son was born (painfully I might add)  I was deep in depression. Swirling into a deep dark vortex of pain and loneliness.

I managed.
I cooked, fed the kids, kept them clean and took care of the basic needs of my husband.
He could tell I was falling apart and didn't make huge issues of the mess and disaster that was my life.
I watched TV - ALL DAY LONG.

Then a laptop entered my life and I started blogging at Y360 (still miss that blog had over 400 followers and was apart of many groups)
I started cleaning - minimally, but it gave hope to my husband and myself that better times were coming.
We moved into a mobile home for the health of our daughter and I thought to myself - I will be happy here!
I was - sort of.

I cleaned, more often and made friends with the new neighbors. I started shopping and spending time with my BFF again.
I was no longer alone. I started trying to lose the weight - trying to care - WANTING to care.
I read a PSI Love You - which showed me that I was only surviving. I was not healed I was still in the edges of depression. I still needed help.

I started writing - I wrote all 3 of my books 100,000 words plus each in a matter of 9 months.
We moved again into my dream home with a ton of repair work. Work I really want to do! Battling everyday, though, to get out of bed is not helping.

So here I am, today. With my first day at Sanctuary of Healing and Integration, that's right I am finally getting mental help. They confirmed that I have Severe Depression & ADD. They also believe that only my ambidextrous(ness) has kept me from falling apart sooner. (as both sides of my brain work in harmony and I can use both hands for different tasks at the same time easily - this makes me both logical and creative!)

They have also recommend (besides my new fun meds) that I buy and follow, "Eat Right for your Type".
Where you eat for your blood type - just reading over the what I can and cannot have list explains why I am eating "healthy" and still not losing weight - in fact I have gained!

I may have to make the changes gradual and some will be interesting as the kids have a different type than I do and we will need to change their diet as well.
So if you hear alot about this book, my new therapy (my hubby goes their as well) or see radical changes in this blog - this is why.

This, as always, is me - the good, the bad, and the ugly. But since we are all friends here, its alright to be honest and real with each other right?

With Love,
Telisha aka Blessed Rain

I will write more on My Path to Finding Me as the days go by - as well as the sessions!

To see all of today's Path Read the above, then go to
The Me Factor At my Trying to get Published blog
Then onto
Our Relationship to Food At my Food blog

A word of warning ALWAYS read reviews before going to get help someplace - Sanctuary of Healing and Integration a year later (8/25/12) is still causing me grief for ever taking a step inside their door. I would NEVER recommend this place to anyone for anything.  

Linked to 
Word of the week

Photos of my BFF and I

Yes the chubby glistening one is me!

and the beautiful one is my BFF!

We recently discovered that it had been 5 years since we had taken photos together!

Now it might be a coincidence that it happens that 5 years ago marks

the birth of my son and my massive weight gain,

but I doubt it.

I am making changes to my life in the hopes that I can finally start shedding some pounds.

First I have met with my doctor and even said that I would like help losing the weight.

Second I am moving to a standing computer desk - hopefully with a treadmill under it!

(hubby still has to agree to my proposed changes!)

Third I am eating better and no not just salads.

I am buying fresh non pasteurized milk locally that does not kill off the good bacteria.

I have lowered shockingly my cheese intake (horrors!)

And am trying to find other ways to be fit and healthy.

I am no longer searching for a quick lose weight deal - they don't work for me!

Instead I hope that remodeling, gardening and yard work as well as eating right and daily exercise will help me stay active enough to lose some weight.

In my corner I have some wonderful and supportive people that want to see me happy.

I also have a book I am trying to get published and I really don't want to be interviewing looking like I do today! 

I mean EEK! the camera adds another TEN pounds!