MRA and Life Updates

Last fall I found a "ding" special on the fridge. You may drool over my stainless steel beauty, but I got 600.00 off due to a dent in the front!
Where is the dent?
Its hidden under one of the fun magnets I placed on the fridge!

This week with our tax refund the hubby bought me (and had it delivered for free from Lowes) my new stove!!!
This is an AMAZING stove! It has a center long burner that is perfect for cooking fish OR you can remove the middle grate and place a griddle there (included) for grilling bacon, burgers and anything else that you want.
Also another fun feature on this stove is that you can run the oven and the broiler at the same time! For less than 600.00 this stove packs a great bargain! Not to mention it rocks the reviews.

In short my kitchen is quickly turning into my dream kitchen. It might not happen like on a design show, beautifully done in 2 weeks, but we have plan and are working toward that goal by doing a little bit each year.

Hubby celebrated his 40th last month and his seizures are doing much better. However, in January he started to have thunderclap headaches.
Today he had an MRA. Last year we had an MRI but it didn't show enough detail.
 I am not sure I want to know an answer. I am scared they will find something and scared that they won't.

My health has also had a strange few months, but I am on track now. I have been diagnosed with PCOS and HS. I am currently trying to heal my gallbladder, liver and spleen to see if I can balance my body's chemistry.

The kids have been in great health with the minor hiccup of catching Fifth disease last week. Prissy broke out into a massive full body rash and was diagnosed with it. Both children were kept home from school at the end of last week since they were contagious.
Fifth disease or slap cheek is not relatively bad - unless you are pregnant.
This week we have played catch up on homework, as well as making sure Prissy is getting caught up.

I am frustrated with the school system. My daughter comes home with a report card full of N's which means she is so far behind they couldn't give her a grade, and yet we have to have continual meetings with the teacher and principal to try to get her into a one on one setting.
My son is averaging a B+ and yet he gets a one on one teacher.... how this makes sense is beyond me.
I am getting pissed off with the No Child Left Behind CRAP that keeps pushing my girl into a higher grade when she can't pass ANY tests.
How can the "No Child Left Behind" help my child when she ends up in the 7th grade at a 2nd grade reading level?
Fact - It can't.
It's sole purpose is to make it seem like they are working on fixing a broken system. A fake band-aid if you will.

(Also do NOT comment on this and try to explain how she is supposed to get help to get caught up because the help she IS getting is keeping her at a second grade level and they are NOT trying to get her any further help unless we are in their face demanding it.)
I know how the system is "supposed" to work. Supposed to and Actually doing are two very different things.

Neurology and Everything Else

Where to start... I guess I would have to start explaining today, by starting with Monday. ps. this is a rather long post, but worth reading!

Monday hubby had a dentist appointment. Basic cleaning and to find out what was going on with a back tooth that was hurting (feeling like it was being pushed out).

As we drive down SR-111 (very middle of no where) I hear a very dreaded sound. Thump, thump, wump wump.

We pull over and Ta-Da! Flat tire!

I call the dentist to let them know we need to reschedule.

After spending around 20 minutes to acquire the spare and jack the car up to a manageable height. We run into a major snag.

I can't move the lung nuts. It isn't going to happen.

Hubby gets one lug nut off and then spends the next 10 minutes holding his tummy (where he had major invasive surgery two months ago) and trying not to cry.

Note to the new visitor of this blog - I am married to a very manly man. He does not cry. It takes more than you would imagine to get this man to cry over being hurt - ever! (I have seen him undergo 5 surgeries)

We call in help. Hubby's BFF JarHead and his very amazing Wife came to our rescue! ~ Thank you so much you two! ~

Now fast forward to today. A month ago we made an appointment to see a neurologist due to hubby's surgeries. The appointment was at 1 pm. I had made arrangements with my BFF for her to watch the kids.

BUT we had a dentist appointment that needed to be made up. Hence we got a 10:20 appointment this morning.

So here I am driving down SR-111, again, on the way to the dentist, again, and I BARELY miss hitting a doe! 

We make it to the dentist in one piece (Thank you Jesus!) and the kids and I get comfortable in the waiting room watching Despicable Me and then the first ten minutes of Meet the Robinson's.

Hubby comes out at 11:52! By this time I was getting worried about not making it to my BFF's and back up to the doctors!

Hubby has 15 cavities, an infection - needs a root canal, a few fillings and to remove and plug one of his teeth! All in all roughly 12,000! They are going to send us a mock up of plans and stages at varying prices for our tiny budget and we will go from there. 

This year we need to worry about the infected tooth, the rest can wait.

Now my hubby is very clean - the dentist was impressed with how clean his teeth are - the problem comes from bad diet as a child and extremely poor dental hygiene as a child. Also his C-pap might cause some damage to his teeth.

You just can't undo what's been done. 

We dropped off the kids and run to the Neurologist appointment - already both of us are drained!

Two hours later, we have a follow up, an EEG planned, new trial medication and most likely a diagnosis of Epilepsy. 

Nothing is definitive yet. Nothing solid. Nothing known.

However, Dr. Buchanan was a very well spoken, polite and knowledgeable doctor. 

We run grab the kids - who have amazingly been ANGELS (why don't they act like that HERE!?) and come home.

So to recap my week - broken garden hose, busted car tire, broken bathroom faucet, HUGE amounts of dental work, and a very large unknown in our future.

I think its safe to say we need prayers. I also would like to find the Angels that is holding my blessings. He seems to have gotten lost.

The good news? Hubby is down 78 pounds and I am down 18 pds. I had a bad week the week of my birthday and had to re-loose all the fun I had! 

Next week, I'm hunting an Angel.

Whovian's vs. Trekkies

No matter the name, Geeks, Nerds, Outcasts, Brilliant Minded or just plain weird. We all love our "special" shows.
Many such shows are Monk, House, Big Bang Theory, Star Trek and my personal favorite Doctor Who.

While many of us have watched all or many of these. I have noticed a rather large difference between, Whovian's and Trekkies.
Don't get me wrong - large amounts of both groups watch both shows. However, its how they act that show what camp they really belong to.

You see a few months ago I joined a discussion on Star Trek and again this week (hence the post). We were talking about our favorite shows, captain's, characters ect when I noticed that many people would preface their questions saying - Do not say, Star Trek Enterprise.
For some odd reason most of the devote Trekkies refuse to watch or acknowledge the last Star Trek TV series.
I for one like it. I like the cast, the crew and the premise.
However, I am also a Whovian.
You see us, Doctor Who'rs, are used to change. We might not always like losing our favorite doctor (mine being David Tennant) but we move on and allow the new doctor to grab our hearts.
Each new Doctor brings something new to the Tardis.
His own personality, quirks and isms.

It does not seem that Trekkies have the same open heart/mind. Which has left them without a continuing TV show.
Why would they create another TV show for a group of people who love Star Trek, but ONLY the versions already out. Loving only the past.
Even the new Star Trek movies - which are amazing! - are still causing ripples in the Trekkie groups.
Many are hoping that the movies will find a way to realign the time lines - allowing the Star Trek they know and love to still "continue".
Instead of allowing the new off rail version of the timeline.

For a show that was supposed to challenge the way people thought or saw things. Challenging preconceptions and ideas, their die hard fans don't seem to like change.
They don't even seem willing to try.
I have read too many times, I heard the Enterprise wasn't good so I didn't watch it.
Eh? Really?
You love Star Trek, but some random person's opinion is going to stop you from forming your own opinion?

So I say if you are a Stuck Star Trekkie, give Enterprise a try. If that concept is too radical for you at first then try watching Doctor Who.

Update: A few ideas to re-launch the Star Trek Series for ALL the fans.
1. Joss Whedon directs it.
2. Bring Wesley Crusher on as the Capt. Will Wheaton is at a perfect age to come back for this role! (The idea that he has a special future and special powers being added in would make a wonderful new twist to the series.)
3. Have Star Trek move into the area of space occupied by The Alliance/Rebels from the Firefly series. They made comments about "Earth that was" but never stated that it was gone - just that they left after pollution - which fits in line with Earth's history in Star Trek Deep Space Nine's Bell Riots.

Hubby's Heath Update

And why I hate Doctors...

So we've fired his most recent doctor and today we are giving our current clinic their last shot at being in charge of my husbands health.
Two months ago my husband started to have intense back pain. Having had both a back surgery AND kidney stones in the last 10 years we had to submit to several different tests to determine the cause.
An Ultra Sound revealed that he had stones in both Kidneys - one as large as 11.8 mm.

Since a stone over the size of 6 mm can not pass on its own we know we have two options - one where they break up the stones with sound waves and allow them to pass in smaller forms. - Two surgery.
The doctor wanting a clearer photo of his kidneys sent him for a CT Scan, yesterday he went in to get the results of the CT Scan.

She didn't have it, didn't look for it, didn't remember asking him to get it. She also thinks he may have gall stones since his liver levels are still off.
Meanwhile, he is having severe diarrhea  vomiting and is starting to get dizzy.
So to re-cap possible liver failure, possible kidney failure, possible gall bladder issues.
No tests, no help from the doctor, and no surgery scheduled - in fact the doctor still somehow thinks that it maybe a screw loose in his back (from his back surgery) despite the fact that we KNOW he has several large kidney stones.
Does she have any plan on dealing with them? Nope.

Yeah, we fired her and complained about her lack of professionalism.
Today we try again.
We are also looking for an internal medicine doctor who will stay up on his Kidneys, Liver and other functions.
Today we will find out what the scan shows, make possible future plans or appointments.

Friday we have an MRI scheduled for his back - this way we can check to make sure everything is still in place correctly back there and allow the doctors to focus on his Kidney Stones.

I am frustrated.
Tired.
Grumpy.
Worried.
Stressed.
Aging quickly.

Now I am going to find something, somewhere that will help me to calm down - chocolate and tea hasn't touched it! (yes that is truly depressing)
Also my happy pill is not working so approach with caution.

Elderly Abuse

Elderly Abuse and why we should be ashamed.

Mama & Grandma out to eat

Many states are still working through their laws - some only have physical and sexual abuse to an elderly. Other's abuse is confined to care centers. This is very important, please check your state laws and see how well they protect their elders.

My state, thankfully, will go after ANYONE who will try to harm or exploit an elderly person, even intimidation of an elderly person is illegal here - not only illegal, but you can be tried and found guilty of it.
After reading through many different state laws, I have to say that I am proud of my state!

My sister, Grandmother and myself

1. What is Elderly Abuse?

Elderly abuse can be anything from physical abuse, emotional abuse to taking advantage of trust to steal from them.
Visit NCEA home - National Center on Elder Abuse
If you suspect elder abuse, neglect, or exploitation,  Click Here for state reporting numbers, or telephone
the Eldercare Locator at
1-800-677-1116.

2. Who can turn in an Abuser?

Someone who knows either the Elderly person OR the Abuser. Family members, medical personal, clergy, social workers... anyone.

3. Can you be sued for turning someone in for Elderly Abuse?

NO. On the website listed, it clearly states that you need to report SUSPECTED abuse. They investigate and will determine whether or not its worth pursuing. You do not need concrete evidence to call in. This means you are not at fault if they are proven innocent.
In fact in a few states NOT reporting suspected elderly abuse is itself a Crime.

4. What is the punishment for Elderly Abuse?

This to me is kind of fun. A person found guilty of Elderly Abuse will be tried for whatever they are found guilty of - physical abuse, theft, embezzlement PLUS taking advantage of an elderly person.

By Utah State Laws - Terms and Definitions.

Exploitation:
(iii) unjustly or improperly uses or manages the resources of a vulnerable adult for the profit or advantage of someone other than the vulnerable adult;
     (iv) unjustly or improperly uses a vulnerable adult's power of attorney or guardianship for the profit or advantage of someone other than the vulnerable adult; or
     (v) involves a vulnerable adult who lacks the capacity to consent in the facilitation or furtherance of any criminal activity.
     (b) A person is guilty of the offense of exploitation of a vulnerable adult as follows:
     (i) if done intentionally or knowingly and the aggregate value of the resources used or the profit made is or exceeds $5,000, the offense is a second degree felony;
     (ii) if done intentionally or knowingly and the aggregate value of the resources used or the profit made is less than $5,000 or cannot be determined, the offense is a third degree felony;

Intimidation:
means communication conveyed through verbal or nonverbal conduct which threatens deprivation of money, food, clothing, medicine, shelter, social interaction, supervision, health care, or companionship, or which threatens isolation or harm.
If done intentionally or knowingly, the offense is a second degree felony.

Harm: 
means pain, mental anguish, emotional distress, hurt, physical or psychological damage, physical injury, suffering, or distress inflicted knowingly or intentionally.
Same fines and laws as stated above apply.

Deception means:
     (i) a misrepresentation or concealment:
     (A) of a material fact relating to services rendered, disposition of property, or use of property intended to benefit a vulnerable adult;
     (B) of the terms of a contract or agreement entered into with a vulnerable adult; or
     (C) relating to the existing or preexisting condition of any property involved in a contract or agreement entered into with a vulnerable adult; or
     (ii) the use or employment of any misrepresentation, false pretense, or false promise in order to induce, encourage, or solicit a vulnerable adult to enter into a contract or agreement.

These are just a few of the terms and fines as laid out in the Utah State Law.

Why should we be ashamed?

Ask any adult about elder abuse. Financial exploitation and they can tell you of at least one person who they KNOW to have exploited or have been exploited.

In my family we (the family) allowed "minor" emotional exploitation of my grandmother. I am very deeply ashamed that it went unreported for years.
Why? Because my grandmother started a cycle that we didn't know when or how to break.
She wanted her family to come to her for help.
Two people took advantage of this.
Her daughter and her daughter's daughter.
It started out as grandma helping because she could - because she wanted to.
It ended with her being pressured to change her will.
There are ways to protect yourself or your family member when the times comes - power of attorney is one way, but it has to be complete.
My uncle had power of attorney and yet my cousin was still able to get my grandmother to change her will without his knowledge - this is where you need to make sure to have all your T's crossed and your I's dotted.
Found out that she (grandma) left the money in a hidden trust before my uncle was made her executor.

My grandmother after her stroke

Why did we allow it to continue after it reached unhealthy and emotional levels?
Because my cousin and my aunt were leaches - they sucked small amounts from her. Nothing "worth" going to the police over. Nothing that would put my grandmothers financial future in danger.
Still the fact remains that grandma was taken from and pressured from those two to often to count. The rest of family treated my grandmother with respect and love.

Does this sound like Placating?
Good because it was and I am ashamed.

The fact is that we never want to prosecute family. We never want to have to step in and say ENOUGH.
We want it to magically work out. It doesn't.
Take a stand, get informed, protect yourself and your loved ones.

October - Anti Bullying Month

October

Its amazing with so many things going on that October is Anti-Bullying Month.

Yesterday, I was called (again) by my son. He had another accident. It was 10:11 am.
This is the second time in two weeks that he has had an accident at school before 10:15 am - which incidentally happens to be first recess.

Now I want to be clear - he is not having the accidents on purpose to come home or to get me to come to the school.
However - due to a bully at school - he is making himself physically ill, just thinking about recess and the drama that comes.
His BFF J'Man has come home with foot print bruising right over his kidneys as well as a long (5-6 inches) fingernail scratch on his chest.


My son has been pushed down the steps twice and hit once in class. The kid that hit him, is not the playground bully and has been moved to another class.
Now the hard issue is my son has speech issues, he is in speech therapy, but due to the fact that he didn't really start talking until he was four - he is behind the other kids.
Which makes it hard to understand his description of the bully.
His BFF is a great talker - but scared of repercussions and has been unwilling to point out the bully.

Over time I have pulled both his Teacher and the Principal into this matter and they are both willing to get to the bottom of it.
First and foremost for me though was getting my son to last a full day at school.
So today, bag in hand I went to the school and helped out in his class all morning long.
His teacher - being wonderful - allowed him to stay in during recess.

Hopefully soon this will be taken care of and my son will be able to enjoy recess once again. Until then though, I will be at the school in the mornings.
Doing whatever it takes to get my son safely through another day.

Now this is becoming a HUGE problem! Not just because of this bully, but all the "bullies" that have been put back into the Salt Lake County School District this year.
You see due to budget cuts, they downsized special needs classes as well as behavioral classes. 
So in a state that has the highest amount of Autistic kids in the nation, not to mention societies worsening parenting problems and the behavior issues that are coming from it.
Instead of increasing our teachers for the flux of kids that need the extra help - they keep decreasing it!

If you have ever thought to yourself that you don't need to worry about budgets for special needs children because your kid isn't one - think again. If a kid with violent behavior doesn't have a class to go to - he ends up in a class with yours.
This is something that affects EVERY child, not just some.

I truly feel for my son's teacher and principal. They don't want these issues. They know that several kids in the school shouldn't be here - in fact last week a boy was taken out of the school in handcuffs because he broke another child's hand!
They also have to work within a broken system.
They have to wait until the ticking time bomb goes off and hurts someone before they can re-force the school system to place that child back into an appropriate class.

My nephew, has Autism. My nephew is wonderful and I love him. He is also in a behavioral class because he is a violent child. Luckily, he is not in Utah and will not be placed back into an open classroom - not for several more years.
Both families need the help! Mine to keep from being bullied and my sisters to keep her son from hurting others and himself.

Its rather odd that while I am going through this with our family today's viral news is of a media Anchor getting bullied for being, "FAT".
Showing that bulling is not just a childhood issue.
Her response to a very idiotic bully was amazing - READ HERE.

This is yet another reason that I support DOVE, for trying to change people's views on "the right look."
I am proud of this news team for having a "heavier" woman as an anchor.
Yes obesity is a bad thing, yes its a growing trend.
However, so is Anorexia. 
Being happy and accepting yourself is key!
Labels and cruel words are not okay - at any age or for any reason.

As a chunky woman I can attest that losing weight is NOT easy. I don't want to be fat. I don't want to have my middle baby tire.
Its not something I choose to keep.
I am eating "right" and increasing activity in my life.
But to have someone judge me, or others like me just because we don't fit the ideal image, well that says alot about you.

Please talk to your children - make sure you know what is going on. Also be aware of your negative words - they do hurt.

Shocking Topic - Sex

Being happily married for a little over ten years I still find it amazing how BIG Sex is in a marriage.

The having it
The not having it
The not talking about it
The openness
The guilt
The pleasure
The anger
The betrayal

This is going to be a very frank - out spoken post.
If you are delicate, single or under 18 you may want to go for a walk...

Let me address a few key topics

1. Foreplay
If a woman says, "Foreplay is over rated" - translation is - you suck at it and I have better things to do - like my nails.
If a man believes that Foreplay is over rated - again he sucks at it and doesn't understand.

Foreplay is a way to get both parties "ready", besides the bonding intimacy of the moment, it also helps make a woman tighter - making it in the long run much better for the man as well.

2. Sex in Marriage
I am a huge believer that sex needs to be between MARRIED people. (people married to each other that is)
When a woman has sex a chemical is released inside her brain emotionally bonding her to that partner - having multiple partners can lead to emotional damage.
I also don't understand how you can sleep with a random person - a person you won't trust your car keys, cell phone or bank account information to - but your body - that's okay. (*Shudders*)

When you are first married - its hard to be open and honest about everything because you don't want to offend the other person.
My hubby and I went to a marriage weekend a few months before we were married (separate rooms) the best advice they gave was to be open and honest about what you liked, didn't like, to openly ask for what you wanted.

From day one we were.
It was brutal.
Tears fell - fights happened.
However, it was amazing how quickly we got on the same page. How soon we started to be in harmony.
It was the best thing we did being honest so early in our marriage - before we had kids - when we were still having sex an average of 3 times a day.

10 years and two kids later - we average once to twice a week. I have found out due to my casual attitude about sex, that we are not the normal married couple.
Many couples think its normal for once a month - some even think once a month is good!

Sex keeps you bonded to your partner - it helps stave off hurt, loneliness, anger, bitterness and misunderstandings. It makes you feel better, emotionally and physically.

Last year when I spent the summer talking to a shrink she was amazed at how we had held onto "our time" even with young children and all that comes with it.
Late night moments, melatonin for the kids so we get a solid half hour and showering together are ways we have found to steal a few moments just for us, for our future and for our marriage.

You need to remember that YOU choose your partner. You planned forever with your partner. Your kids will grow up and leave, you will either be with a loving partner, a stranger you once knew or you will be looking for partner number ---.

3. Emotions and Sex
Hollywood has this glamorous picture of sex.
Everyone that hooks up with someone is happy - they both climax, they both feel a high.
This is a sad sad lie.

If you have been abused or have a partner that was sexually abused - sex is both needed and a minefield.
If you are pregnant or had a baby - sex (the drive) can disappear. Even having sex can be more of a chore than a pleasure.
Hormonal imbalances and other medical issues or medications can cause problems.

This is another reason you need to talk to your partner about what is going on. Also you need to talk to your doctor - we don't like talking about these issues and emotions. Somehow - not quite certain how - but we all feel we must work through it on our own.
I haven't quite figured out why we think this way - why we think its shameful, embarrassing or isn't important.
However, many times this is a side effect of something larger.

Betrayal - against the lie of Hollywood, the lie of the "perfect couple", the lie of "happily ever after." Against sexual betrayal, cheating, affairs or being told that you aren't good enough.
Sex is complicated, fun and very messy.
Its emotional.
Its embarrassing.
Its rewarding.

When you get it right, you both end up wanting more, being happy. When its right, you don't care and aren't ashamed of your reactions, begging or demanding during the act.
When done right you can both climax together. Something that many people don't believe can happen, but I have to prove them wrong 80% of the time my husband and I climax together.

 SEX - is something that should be talked about. Not some hidden secret, not something to be lied about or faked. It isn't about that moment - its about making the next one better!
You see when we were young and had the energy to go three times a day or more - it wasn't as rewarding.
Now that we are older, pressed for time and lets face it more tired - our sex is amazing.
Nothing is held back, hidden or withheld.
Being emotionally naked as well as physically naked is one of the hardest things I have ever learned to do - and it has been oh so worth it.
 

PTA, Rants and My Week in a Nutshell

This year, my first time of having down time, I have joined my children's school PTA.
This week that commitment was tested with my first event, Skate Night. Prissy helped run the table (did amazing) and I ended up as the popcorn queen.

While we were there my daughter showed me that she can do the monkey bars! After breaking her arm, this fell into the "maybe" pile. As in maybe if her arm healed well she might be able to do this - Thankfully this not only is something she can do, but will help her therapy move forward!

RANT

I picked a fight this week with the president of an organization. Here's a tip for those that don't know me well, you hurt my family or friends and I will find a way to mess with you.
This started out rather light and fluffy - then she deleted my comments and went into private messaging - first mistake, I play nicer in front of an audience.
Second, DO Not, I repeat DO NOT tell me how much you value your volunteers - when my BFF worked for months for you - designing and running a website - only to have all of her work deleted behind her back and her permissions revoked - without a word or a response from YOU.
You want me to be nice and not say the word UGLY? That's fine how about HIDEOUS and STUPID?
~Things may have been worked out between you and her (namely because after five months you finally called and talked with my BFF.) It does not change my opinion of how the site looks nor the person running it.

GREAT NEWS!

I applied for reduced lunches. School lunches here in Utah cost 7.50 a week per child. Making it 15.00 a week for me to feed both kids a hot lunch.
For me, that hurts.
Really hurts.
Last year and the year before that, we qualified for reduced lunches, making the cost 1.40 per child per week.
I just got the letter back today - we qualified for FREE lunches!
Total saved is around 600.00!!!
You have no idea what a weight off my mind that was!

 

Dinner tonight (hubby and I are sick)

came with two perfect fortune cookies and yes I wish life were as easy as fortune cookies!

His is on top!

After reading how we qualify for free lunches you can only imagine how a promotion would help us!

Mine is talking about parties and gatherings!

Between joining the PTA and my upcoming Miche Purse Party!

I think my is spot on!

 

Yes my party on November 24th is a purse party - yes my sister will be offering these for sale - NO its not a sales party. Its a party party. We will be having food, drinks, raffles, prizes and all out fun girl time!
What girls don't like to also look a purses?
Especially ones you can change with your outfit?

If you can't make it to the party the link (click on photo) will be viable for my purse party until November 23rd.
You can find my party under Telisha Garris, South of the Border party.

Trust me its going to be great. Already I am making the decorations, planning the menu and creating prizes and gifts for those that come! This is my first party in several years and I can promise you, you don't want to miss it!

Parenting And Why It Ages Me

I love my little girl.
She is bubbly, friendly, loveable, sweet, loyal, always has a positive attitude and a gentle heart.
She is so much more than I can write in a short blog post, but yesterday she aged me.

Over the years both of my children have aged me - repeatedly.
With my girl its been late night asthma treatments, watching her break out into large hives and of course breaking her arm and needing surgery.
With my son it was when he stopped breathing (swallowed his tongue) or rode his bike into the street without looking for cars.
All kids go through these phases - so many that at times I wonder how anyone lives to adulthood!

Yesterday after school Prissy came home, did her homework and then ran next door so she could play with her friend. A younger by 3 years friend.
After a few hours she came home and started playing with her brother in the driveway - all was well - all was normal.
Then came the knock on the door.
my next door neighbor - a woman I used to walk with in the morning, a woman I like - was standing on my front porch and she was not happy.

My daughter and the neighbor girl had been playing in her back yard (without either of our permission or knowledge) the young neighbor girl had crawled through the cat flap of the neighbors garage had gone inside and unlocked the door - allowing my daughter to enter as well.
They then pulled out all the cat toys from the garage scattering them all over the yard while chasing the baby kittens.
Have I mentioned that besides the fact that my daughter could be charged with trespassing and breaking and entering, that she is allergic to CATS?
I mean serious face swelling, asthma inducing, itchy hives, allergic.

Now if I had asked my daughter (and I did after the fact) if she thought that going into our neighbors yard, crawling in and unlocking the door and playing with items without permission was a good idea, I know she would say NO.
I also know that she was not the instigator. My daughter did not come up with the idea.
I know you may think that's a naive hope of a mother, but with my daughter its the truth, she wouldn't even think it was an option - nor did she know anything about what was in the garage in the first place.

Our young friend is the 10th child. She is the baby of a large family. She is allowed to run freely, oft times barefoot and has since she was three years old.
She is an independent instigator.
The problem is that my almost 9 year old is willing to follow the whims of a 5 year old girl, who has had a very loose childhood.
My problem isn't that this happened, its how to stop it from happening again.
Right now my girl is grounded for a week - from friends, TV and school activities (like tomorrows Skate Night) will it be enough to make my daughter think twice when her young friend comes up with a "scathingly brilliant idea?" I don't know.
Hence I'm turning grey!

I Am and No I am NOT Afraid

When God inspired the words, "And be not afraid." I doubt he meant them any less today then a millennium ago.

With the most recent viral boycotting and supporting going on right now ( a nice diversion from politics ) I say you need to KNOW who you are,
Do you allow others to dictate who you are and what you believe?
Do you stand for a moral belief or ideal?

For instance a few years ago it became known that Target was supporting Gay rights & that Macy employees could not say, Merry Christmas. Fanatical boycotts went wild rather quickly.
I refused to boycott Target.
While my faith (Romans chapter 1) speaks strongly about gay/lesbian relationships, I don't hold businesses to my beliefs. They have their legal rights.

I, however, staunchly supported any and all boycotting of Macy's.
Why? Because one was against freedom of speech and the other wasn't.

I am a very simple person. I don't follow every craze I hear from the media nor do I bash every liberal thing that my pastor would like me too.
I make my own choices. I make my own stand. I make up my own mind.

Many among my faith were not happy simply boycotting Harry Potter, they had to protest theaters and brand anyone who watched them or read them as being witches, sinners, mystics and heretics.
I read the books before forming a solid opinion on them.
I did this for a few reasons. First I don't take anyone else's opinion as golden and I like to make up my own mind. Second, I wish more people would read the bible before they open their mouths and start bashing or spouting off 8th generation gibberish.
BE Informed people.
I personally found Harry Potter to be delightful. I saw nothing wrong with its creative imaginative world.
I know many, many people disagree. Good for them.

So here's my take on the Chick-Fil-A drama. I am for them.
I support them.
They have every right to believe and profess that belief.

You don't like that? You know, love, support someone who is gay/lesbian?
Yeah? So what? So do I.
But if they want people to listen to them, to treat them with respect then it has to also be given.
My bible says its a sin, but God loves sinners. Yet, God also calls them God-haters.
Confused much?
Good. It's confusing and each person has to make their own choices.
I choose to support people's rights to believe and say freely what they believe without being crucified.

50 years ago it would have been the gay/lesbians being crucified.
Now its the Christian's for holding fast to their beliefs.
Here's the thing. This is America, they both have rights.

Yelling, waving and shouting isn't and shouldn't change anything.
Anyone who is willing to bow to pressure because of such behavior - well they don't have much of a mind anyway.
Also its a distraction meant to rile up people before a major voting year. Obama's 1st 4 years in office, he tiptoed carefully around gay/lesbian's. Not giving them marriage rights and yet not trashing them either.

NOW right before re-election, he comes out in favor of them... and then because Romney's campaign has been well done (lets face it people Romney may be a genius) a liberal reporter just happens to ask the most vocal Christian owned public business his view on this subject right before voting?
I don't know about you, but I see alot of strings being pulled and a lot of puppets jumping.

I will and do support Chick-Fil-A, but I support them on their right to FREE SPEECH.
If you pick a side to stand for - make sure you have a valid and carefully thought out reason for picking it, will you?

Calling it as I see it or 4th of July, pt 2

Now watching the parade I started to wonder about all the law enforcement

especially for a township that has no self named law office - we pay for whats called a, "unified policed".

That's where other cities that want a few extra dollar's sign up and send one of their men to patrol, answer calls ect.

Then comes this dude literally hanging on to the back of the truck coasting along like it's not big deal.

One of the many dance groups 

 Chinese Dragons 

 two of them

Our neighbors girl is in the very front playing the flute

Unfortunately you can't see her very well - only the top of her head.

My kids were so happy to know someone in the parade

#1 This woman was nice to me, until my son's walking field trip to the fire station. That's when during a nice chat she posed a pointed question - one to determine if I was Mormon or not.

I politely told her that I did understand what she was saying as I was raised here and most of my friends are Mormon - even though I was not.

From that moment on, she stopped speaking to me.

#2 This is her son.

He started out friends with my son, but as soon as she found we weren't Mormon - poof - he wasn't friends with my son either, in fact over night he turned mean.

My son came home crying one day because of him

Now for my friends out there that are Mormon, I know you are as upset about this as I am.

I went through this "shunning" when I was this age in girl scouts & in elementary school.

I know all about THIS type of Utah mom.

I also know that this is NOT what their own faith teaches.

Utah is a great family friendly state, but it does have its own fair share of stupid out there.

This is her daughter - who has been friends with my daughter 

But now that she (the mama) saw us together at the parade

that may change.

Sad thing is I know this is the type of mother that will also be raising her children to be missionaries.

How do you teach a child to hate & be mean to someone and then teach them to go out and try to connect and relate with those same people?

The double standard in her life is astounding!

In return I have tried to explain this as best as I can to my children.

Telling them that its their choice and to try to not take it personal.

I have also just asked my son to leave her son alone, but to still be nice.

As a mama though I don't mind calling her out,

I even gave her my Blog card.

Hope she reads this!

Stay tuned for part 3

Family Stickers

A read a blog a few weeks ago knocking people like me who place family stickers on their cars.
Her comment, "Really I don't care about your family." was rude, but truthful.

So let me explain.
I didn't buy them or go to the effort of washing the car, arranging the stickers - for you.
I am also sure that every other family that bought and placed stickers on their cars didn't either.

Frankly I don't care if you look, like or hate them - they help me find my car!

See one of these day when (and if) some man marries your cranky bum and you have a few children.
You may buy a "mom" vehicle.
A vehicle that comes normally in 5 different colors and shapes.
So that when you walk out of the grocery store with a cart filled with food and two screaming children and look across a sea of cars - most of which look similar to your own - you can find it quickly.
Why?
Because no two families are the same.
Even the ones that have the same number of people - they choose different types of stickers!

So yes - enjoy your ignorance for really it is bliss - and then you can join our ranks with a sticker family of your own or of course you could get a clown for your car antenna - which I believe is much more tacky but hey! so was your post!

When Adults Bully

Tenure

Its not a dirty word, and yet at times, it is.

Tenure for teachers is important. The government is a numbers racket. To keep from getting lawsuits claiming that they were firing or laying off people right before retirement - or wrongful firing they put in safe guards to protect their jobs against a numbers cut (and other reasons).

I get it, really I do.

However, there also needs to be a peer board or panel that CAN FIRE a teacher who has truly crossed the line and no amount of hiding behind the words Tenure can help.

 

What brings this question/ rant up? This (most recent) news post about a young autistic boy being bullied, ridiculed & harassed at school - not to mention not being taught.

Teachers bullying Autistic/normal children.

One father. One son. Three teachers/aides. Lies, hurt, abuse & now red tape.
Here is the story of a father who knew his son wasn't violent - or any of the other things the teacher continued to say. So he sent his son to school with a audio recorder.
6 1/2 hours of vile, nasty and plain evil were caught and recorded for everyone to hear.
What happens? Red tape. They were able to fire only one of the aides and moved the other teachers to another school or district. Tenure you see - protects even the worse of the offenders.

The dad is calling for a no tolerance teacher bullying bill to pass legislation.
Here is the story link, here is the petition for the bill, & the facebook support link.

My solution is quicker, more brutal and very very short term.
These teachers need their photo & name plastered on the web, any parent whose kids are taught by them need to complain to the school.
After being bounced around from school to school - they may not lose their teaching licenses, but they will lose places to work - especially places with children.
Any adult that callous, that mean, that heartless - should never ever work with children.
Legislation will protect the children of the future - we need to protect the children of today.

No child or parent should ever have to go through this.
We need to do more than "pass" the word along, or sign a petition - we need to get active.
Every parent out there needs to meet - talk with their child's teacher (I know both my children's teachers and this year they both still like me - its a miracle).
If something doesn't feel right - talk to the school office about sitting in for a day.
Ask if another teacher or office staff can check on the class once or twice a day because things don't make sense.
GET INVOLVED.
No one else is ever going to protect or watch out for your child better then you will.

This is about a special needs class - this time. A few months ago it was a jr. high school boy in a normal classroom recording the bullying on his cellphone.
It can happen in any class at any time.


I will post update's about day 3 & 4 tomorrow later today- sorry but its been a very long day and I am starting to hurt again (slightly) in the gallbladder area - off to take more nasty medication.




 

Autism Acceptence/Awareness

A year ago I wrote a post titled, Who has been robbed or blamed? That went over quite well, for a while at least. I even gained followers rather then lose them. (I might this time, though)
Today in honor of Autism Awareness day (light it up blue) my BFF writer of Speaking on the Spectrum, wrote another (shocking!) post on why the Autism Community needs to SHUT UP and get along!

I don't know what drama triggered her anger this time (I know what triggered mine a year ago)

So here we go again.

Here's Your Sign

Really some moments in my life have made me wonder how some of the human race has managed to survive on that level of stupid.
My cousin Heather, who's second son just under went heart surgery has been having a plethora of them lately. Mostly from well meaning mothers and co-workers. People saying things like, "At least your able get some sleep." Referring to the fact that at two weeks old he is still in the hospital.

Parks and Packages

BFF's Lil sis, Little Man, BFF, & Savy his Kinder Crush

 Moving into a new city is never easy. Meeting new people in said city is also not easy. You have your neighbors, church, school & social gathering places (gym, activities, dining ect).
So far the best place that I have made friends at is my son's Kindergarten class.
We - the bored - chat.
Or at least the anti social of us do.
The rest stand there and watch the social ones chat.
At the beginning of the year two moms started an every Thursday play-date at the park, next to the school. Only 5 mothers so far have ever come, due to bad weather they stopped for a long time) today 3 of us met up, chatted, let the kids play and had a ball!
2 hrs of mama time, 2 hrs of kids running, playing, and being with their friends. Win Win.

New Pretties, Food & Life

I have a few new wall decors that I added around my home. The upper large is over my dinning table. The tree squares next to it are on my bathroom wall. The lower large photos is above the kitchen table.
I have a lot of wall space that is blank.
The problem is I can not add thick art work or pictures due to doors, tables, people, bathroom steam and positions.
These are the perfect solution to walls that need something different then "regular" art.

S.O.P.A & other various rants

Tomorrow we (the anti SOPA ~ non military government people) will be observing internet silence.

Jan 18th 2012 from 8am-8pm (est)

Free Advice Vol. 6 Survivor & Budgeting

A few months ago I wrote a blog titled: Free Advice Vol. 5 Survivor President 

Before that was Reform & Cuts

Today I am following them up.

Camera! as well as some ramblings

This beautiful sleek 14 mp 3d camera is zooming towards me as I type! This is about the best camera I could find for the money that is not a professional. While I love photography and I really would love to give more time to its pursuit, I need a camera with quality that can take photos without a lot of prep. I am horrible with zooming, angling and working out sun angles professional cameras require - way to many dials for how fast my shots need to be!
This is rated as a good sports camera which should be perfect for capturing my hyper duo!

With the arrival of my new toy I will most certainly be back up to my full blogging potential again - I have missed having a working camera!

Tomorrow the kids will be spending the day with their grandparents and I get the whole day off! I am so thrilled I don't know what to do first!

Tonight I will be making dinner from my garden and the grandparents garden -Stuffed pumpkin & Spaghetti squash with sauce. Its sure to be amazing! I will attempt to use my old camera to photo but the kids really got it good the last time they spill juice on it.
Hence me getting my Christmas present early!

I have also been working again on book one and pleased to announce that I am once again in the "flow" of my work.
This summer I took off to work on me - now that I am awake, alert, slightly alive and getting healthy I am ready to dive back into the work!

Thank you my blogging friends for being so patient with me over the summer ;)