My cousin Heather, who's second son just under went heart surgery has been having a plethora of them lately. Mostly from well meaning mothers and co-workers. People saying things like, "At least your able get some sleep." Referring to the fact that at two weeks old he is still in the hospital.
Hint for non-mothers, no mother really sleeps the first few years. We hover. Even in our sleep we listen for the slightest sound from our baby, coughing, gurgling, rolling over, foot spasms, breathing patterns.
If they sleep through the night - you still don't.
Why? Because you are up checking up on them, making sure they are safe.
So how in the world do you think a mother who's baby is in the hospital is going to sleep? She isn't.
Why? Because she worries about his health/ his nurse/ his needing to be held --- this list never ends.
If a normal mother can't sleep without checking on her baby several times a night - how can one that CAN'T check on him?
Now during my life I have had two really big Here's Your sign, moments.
The first was during the birth of my daughter. When I mean during, I mean I was crowning and pushing against all the thick hair on her head!
My hubby and I had decided to wait and be surprised whether we were getting a boy or a girl - frankly I learned its cheaper in the long run if you do this - you will buy far less clothes!
Anyway - between breathes the nurse asked me what I wanted, I answered a boy. I had always wanted my girls to have an older brother to protect them.
The nurse looks at me - I kid you not - "And what will you do if it's a girl?" Blink, Blink....
I stare at her, push, breathe, stare... She was dead serious.
I looked at her like she was the dumbest person on the planet, which lets face it I still wonder how she managed to pass nursing school.
"I'll name her and take her home." I answered slowly. Very slowly. I wanted to make sure she understood how dumb she had sounded.
I mean really what am I going to do, look at the dr. and say, "Nope sorry, take it back...?"
The second was horrible, really and truly horrible.
My mother had passed away. We had buried her, mourned her, met with friends, family, divided items, past some along and had gone from bad to worse.
I can't describe my mother - if you knew her - well you knew her.
When you read peoples obits you read about all the work they did, the people they cared about, lifelong projects or good works.
Most funerals range from 60-80 people.
My mama's funeral had over 200 people. She did nothing special, nothing spectacular, nothing bordering on the divine.
And yet... She Loved.
Anyone who ever met her, talked with her, spoke with her, worked with her, knew that she loved them.
So a few months down the road when I answered the phone and someone was asking to speak to her and I explained that she had passed away I was not ready for a, "Are you kidding me?" --- and a "You've got to be joking!"
Yes my mother the saint, who could love people I would have loved to send back to God, I find it completely funny to say that she's dead. In fact I love it so much that now 7 years later I am tearing up just writing the words, but yes... of course I find that funny.
Now most people mean well and several of my other here's your sign moments I have been able to let go, laugh off or sigh pitifully over. I can see the difference between stupid and well intentioned.
So feel free to rant - get some stuff off your chest!
Let me here all about your latest or greatest "Here's your Sign!"