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My life is a crazy, unpredictable, jumbled mess of fun. Each day creating adventures and stories that will last a lifetime 

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

A Truly Super Mom

We have been best friends for 13 years.
In so many ways I have found her to be one of the most incredible, dedicated, hard working women I have ever known.

She could have won this award several times over, but today a day when she is tired, broken and scared.
Is the best of who she is.

This is her daughter beauty.
She is Autistic.
She is brilliant, sweet, repetitive, loves her Ipad, flowers and is amazing at spelling and reading.

In a few short weeks she will graduate Kindergarten.
Due to a few minor issues (not being potty trained, picky eating, issues with noise, lights - easily distracted ect.)
They (the school board) decided to place her next year in an S.E.L school.
In theory and on paper this seemed like it might be a good fit.
I had at least talked my BFF into giving it a fair, open minded evaluation.

That evaluation happened today under the terms of an "observation" day. Where Tired Mom and Beauty had a 1/2 hour appointment to tour her class, meet next years teachers, observe and ask questions.
Before I begin to describe what she told me over the phone I want to give her props for not screaming and running from the room - which I might have done.

The room was small. The teacher tall, thin and not very friendly or welcoming.
The sensory corner was a bean bag and a balloon.
The aide was stern and bossy - terms like, "I told you to sit." "Where did I tell you to be?" (mind you this is a 1st grade Autistic class of kids....)
They don't have or use a PEC's system.
They don't have a daily schedule or routine.
They use Conditioning Behavior. (treats for following instructions - discipline for not)
DISCIPLINE - they had a 3x3 gray BOX, that kids are placed inside of.
Not for when they are having sensory overload and put themselves in there - as a discipline.
Mind you this is a non-violent, verbal, mild/med autistic class.
This may have been ok in a different class room - but FAR overboard in this one!
Her response to this classroom? No way. Not my daughter. I will find her a private school, tutor, homeschool her, ANYTHING before I let her in that room!
So while my BFF is emotionally drained, tired and slightly defeated about this set back. I told her, to be proud and wear her Super Cape for the day.
So many parents don't take the time to inspect or question. To find the right fit for their child.
Beauty has made so much progress - come so far.
She is now spontaneous. Loving. Empathetic. The most amazing thing that she does now is free, imaginative play.
Putting her in a class with Behavior Conditioning - could and most likely would erase 2 years of floor time therapy to teach her to think, imagine and to do things for herself.
This class maybe wonderful for another child, not her.

Thus I nominate my BFF, Tired Mom to be the first recipient in the Super Mom Award.
Rules are very simple. Accept. Post the Award in the acceptance blog (and anywhere else you choose), tell your story about the event that prompted the nomination.
If you find another Super Mom - share the award - one at a time linking back to me so I can add them and their stories to my new Super Mom page.

As for my readers, followers and friends - I will be watching! The Super Mom Award will be passed on!



Margie (Tired Mom) said...

I love you so much girl!! Thank you for always being so supportive of me. It means so much!

Evelyn said...

Oh my gosh. I heard it hadn't gone well, but OH MY GOSH. A BOX to put children into???? A bean bag and a balloon? No PECS OR SCHEDULE? You are right, Tired Mom is a SUPER MOM, and deserves this award 100X over! I'm so glad she has a best friend like you.:-)

dina Kyle said...

A true friend is so hard to come by and when you find one to stand by your side no matter what, then and only then you can consider yourself Blessed.
I am glad to see Margie has that in you :) .
I believe you always go with your gut. A mom knows what is right for her children.
I wish you both my love, life and blessings. Dee

Margie (Tired Mom) said...

You are too kind Evelyn! I'm just doing what any good mom would do for her kids. But yeah, that class was scary!! And thank you Dina for always being so steady and wise! You have a lot on your plate too, yet you always manage to balance everything so well. Thank you for being my friend!

Heather said...

at class seems really wrong for autistic kids how can they be for them? Makes no sense.

Telisha Garris said...

Trust me Heather - we don't know. This is far and above what is considered a WRONG situation.

No set schedule and no PECS is wrong as for the BOX - if it were in a severe classroom and used as a self regulating - meaning it was apart of the child's IEP - it would be one thing.
This using it as a discipline area is WRONG.
I would be furious if anyone tried to put one of my children in this class!
I don't think many people understand all the crap that special students and parents end up going through!

jazzygal said...

I just commented on Tired Mum's blog and I think this is a lovely thing you have done for her.

Reading this now I understand her upset! Oh my. I'm glad she ran!!

If it helps any my boy with ASD, now 12, started school in a special needs school and is now fully integrated into a mainstream school. Apart from asking all the right questions etc I also trusted my instincts on school choices and so far it has served me well. It seems that Tired Mom is off to a good start ;-)

xx Jazzy

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