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My life is a crazy, unpredictable, jumbled mess of fun. Each day creating adventures and stories that will last a lifetime 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Repentance equals peace

Most times learning is painful, especially when it seems you keep relearning the same lessons over and over again until they stick. 

I am once again guilty of this.

This post was intended to be full of hate and malice - accusations and blame.
Instead I will go against what is natural and I will choose to be thankful.
Thankful to have found a home, the perfect home. A home I love, for an amazing price, and a loan company willing to give us a 4.75 interest rate.
I will stop bashing, blaming, hating and creating my own road blocks. I will once again choose to get out of my own way and follow Gods.
I commit to follow Gods will in this and will let His will be done. I know that He has had His hand on this from day one. HE alone took the other two houses from us and brought this amazing gem into our lives. It even has a fireplace! 

Did I ever mention how much I would love to have a fireplace? 
Ironically this is where the story starts. Last week, (Thursday) we called our agent wanting to know our closing date and amount, as we were suppose to close today. Instead we learned that once again our lending company had not done their job and the new (three weeks old) paperwork had not been turned into hud, so they could approve the additional 900.00 the lenders wanted to fix the fireplace and one wall. We were told that for hud to approve the new paperwork they would need another three weeks. (FYI this has taken over two months so far.) Our other option was to do it ourselves. We were told that if we fixed the chimney, they would forgive the wall and move ahead with our loan.

This saves us a lot of time and money, so Thursday night and all of Friday we were out at the new house working. My Hubby destroyed his hands putting in the new brick and mortar and while its not a beautiful job, it is secure. At this point, I was boiling mad and I have been mad at them ever since - until of course this afternoon. Its amazing how quickly one small sentence can remind you of who you are suppose to be.
I was listening to Christian radio driving to pick up my daughter and I was reminded that all things belong to God and how we are not suppose to be ungrateful when miracles in our lives are happening everyday.

Now with all the fussing I have been doing about this company, I haven't mentioned that its a miracle that we are getting a home at all. Five years ago my hubby and I took out a bankruptcy. With my mothers death, my quitting my job and a whole slew of medical bills piling up we didn't have many options. The day before our bankruptcy our credit was at a 450, day after 460. Now five years later we have a score of 680 - a miracle in and of itself. 

As soon as I repented to God and prayed for our lenders, I was at peace. I have given this matter of closing over to Him and will only now continue to pray for it to go through quickly and with no more stumbling blocks. I vow to stop attacking the company and will pray for them instead.
I am sorry that I have poured out hate and anger here and ask that you as my readers, family and friends, forgive me.


Dawn Marie said...

I'm proud of you, and I can't wait to hear that the keys are in your hands and that the paperwork is signed.

TJ said...

I agree with Dawn. I am proud of you. It's not easy to repent when we want to scream. We are in the hands of a Good God.

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