Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Parenting And Why It Ages Me


I love my little girl.
She is bubbly, friendly, loveable, sweet, loyal, always has a positive attitude and a gentle heart.
She is so much more than I can write in a short blog post, but yesterday she aged me.

Over the years both of my children have aged me - repeatedly.
With my girl its been late night asthma treatments, watching her break out into large hives and of course breaking her arm and needing surgery.
With my son it was when he stopped breathing (swallowed his tongue) or rode his bike into the street without looking for cars.
All kids go through these phases - so many that at times I wonder how anyone lives to adulthood!

Yesterday after school Prissy came home, did her homework and then ran next door so she could play with her friend. A younger by 3 years friend.
After a few hours she came home and started playing with her brother in the driveway - all was well - all was normal.
Then came the knock on the door.
my next door neighbor - a woman I used to walk with in the morning, a woman I like - was standing on my front porch and she was not happy.

My daughter and the neighbor girl had been playing in her back yard (without either of our permission or knowledge) the young neighbor girl had crawled through the cat flap of the neighbors garage had gone inside and unlocked the door - allowing my daughter to enter as well.
They then pulled out all the cat toys from the garage scattering them all over the yard while chasing the baby kittens.
Have I mentioned that besides the fact that my daughter could be charged with trespassing and breaking and entering, that she is allergic to CATS?
I mean serious face swelling, asthma inducing, itchy hives, allergic.

Now if I had asked my daughter (and I did after the fact) if she thought that going into our neighbors yard, crawling in and unlocking the door and playing with items without permission was a good idea, I know she would say NO.
I also know that she was not the instigator. My daughter did not come up with the idea.
I know you may think that's a naive hope of a mother, but with my daughter its the truth, she wouldn't even think it was an option - nor did she know anything about what was in the garage in the first place.

Our young friend is the 10th child. She is the baby of a large family. She is allowed to run freely, oft times barefoot and has since she was three years old.
She is an independent instigator.
The problem is that my almost 9 year old is willing to follow the whims of a 5 year old girl, who has had a very loose childhood.
My problem isn't that this happened, its how to stop it from happening again.
Right now my girl is grounded for a week - from friends, TV and school activities (like tomorrows Skate Night) will it be enough to make my daughter think twice when her young friend comes up with a "scathingly brilliant idea?" I don't know.
Hence I'm turning grey!


4 comments:

Natalia said...

As difficult as it may be, maybe it would just be better not to let your little ones play with those kids anymore. I know it would be hard and it's not the other kids' fault necessarily (it's their parent's fault), but if you want to keep your kids from following bad examples, maybe it's time to cut the strings.

No matter what you do though, there will always be ways for our kids to drive us crazy and give us gray hairs or wrinkle lines.

Blessed Rain said...

Problem is that they are the only other family with kids near us. I've had issues with her older brothers before...
I just don't think I can keep them from playing together, at least not without years of whining and making enemies in the neighborhood - right now I don't see a clear path.

Unknown said...

How about only playing with them in your yard? There do need to be boundaries, especially if Prissy is going to follow other people's lead.

Blessed Rain said...

Dawn Marie - Our rules are very clear. They have to ask permission to leave the yard.
They can't just run across the street to play or up and down the street whenever or where ever they feel like.
They KNOW this.
YET, its another rule that she broke.

Last night I set her down and explained that IF I had done those things I could be arrested for Trespassing, Breaking and Entering and possibly vandalism (they did play with things). I think that finally got through to her - she is scared of cops.

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