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My life is a crazy, unpredictable, jumbled mess of fun. Each day creating adventures and stories that will last a lifetime 

Friday, October 26, 2012

Unseen Scars - Bullying

For the several hundred that read my last post on bullying and how its hurting my son, here I am, updating you.
Things are better.
Things are worse.

Its hard to separate my life at the moment from the life of my son. He is hurt. Yet that is such a pitiful way to describe what has happened to him emotionally.
At night he is plagued with nightmares, of being hurt, of even being killed on the playground. He is in first grade in a regular city. Not too violent, not too sweet and rather poor.
At school I cannot leave him. Every day I have to be there in his class until after first recess - at which time I have to be there on the playground.
If I have other obligations or I'm sick or his sister is sick - he comes home before first recess sick.
Again he is not having accidents on purpose. He is literally making himself sick with fear.
Right now I am looking into free state psychological help, the co-pays alone for meeting with a child shrink would kill us.

So again today I went to school with my son. We did class work in which one of his class mates had me biting my lips to stop from laughing.
They have a game called silly sentences.

She did this all by herself in spite of my trying to get her to exchange man for dinosaur and to remove the word happy.
I have to give props to his teacher - how does she read these and not lose it?
I would also like to point out that the rest of the sentences the kids came up with were not off color like this one, they were cute and silly.
We did recess as in the photos above and then I left to run home before returning again for my PTA meeting.

Now as I said my son is better - its been three weeks since he has been bullied on the playground.
And he is worse because the fear is so deep rooted in his brain that he can not move past it yet.

This is yet another reason I am so happy that I joined the PTA this year. I was able to talk to them about it today and we are moving forward with the Watch Dogs, program. Where dads (and moms) join a program and then dedicate extra hours to being on the playground, before and after school and they help keep the playground a safe place.
It would have started at the beginning of the year, however, we lost our main leader and its been a struggle to move forward.
Thankfully we have two new dads who are eager to help. (The main gist of the program is to help bring dads into helping at the school.)
I love that I have another place to voice what is going on with my son and have even more people to help support and implement changes. 

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