The Dark Side of Asthma

Photo taken this morning 7/31/11

This is Prissy

she has Asthma.

When you see her, you see this

The happy energetic full of life young lady who sometimes coughs and needs to take a "breather".

What you don't see is what happens at night.

Taken last night 7/30-31/11

The coughing so bad that her throat tightens up, as my hubby (who also as asthma)

has described to me, 

'an Asthma attack is like trying to breath through a coffee straw stirrer while swimming.'

Last night was the mother of all attacks.

The scariest part was by the time she was coughing, she was so far into the attack she could barely breath.

When I went to check on her - her throat was tight, constricted, she was slightly delusional and kept screaming that she didn't want to be in that bed.

Three emergency puffs later I was able to release her 

(had to hold her up right while massaging her throat gently to get it to relax)

I was able to put her mask on her, add in her vial of life saving meds and start a full on treatment.

She had been so pale that it wasn't until five minutes into the treatment that her "raccoon eyes" showed up.

If you see the night time photo you will see dark, red eyes. 

Showing how oxygen deprived she was.

This is what I call a surprise attack.

She had been bathed - changed and had her allergy meds.

Nothing was a trigger, she doesn't have a cold or is sick in anyway.

Asthma while common is serious 

there are treatments but not everyone gets better.

To me, this was scary as hell, and yet just another night in life of being a mother.

There is such a difference from the light of day
to the dark of night.

The Tooth Will Out!

Finally the tooth is out!

The story-

A few weeks ago I noticed that ALL of Little Mans's front teeth were loose! After checking repeatedly we noticed one was farther along then the others. 

At first it was good fun - he allowed us to wiggle and play with it, he showed it off to random strangers then came the screaming!  The clamped hands holding and protecting his mouth!

For the last week Hubby and I have been unable to get near his mouth! Until last night when L.M allowed papa to wiggle it - for a moment.
Papa (aka Hubby) told me it was ready to fall out! I came up with the plan of pulling it out in his sleep!

Sneaking up on a unsuspecting sleeping boy really makes you feel slightly evil - I did with a video camera!

The tooth came free without so much as a twinge from L.M nor did it bleed!

In the morning  he woke to a missing tooth and toys from the tooth fairy!

And yes our tooth fairy shops ahead at the dollar store! Instant toys - candy - stickers - each time they get some new amazing prize. I have even been told (by envious neighbor children) that they only get money! LOL

Yes dollar store trumps money - kids love instant prizes!

Hopefully the next tooth isn't so hard!

Shout out - Please pray for Beauty she is in Primary Children Hosp. (my BFF's girl and my kids BFF)

She has been diagnosed with Henoch-Schonlein Purpura. This would not be so scary if she wasn't having  some severe  issues. Spraining her ankle - getting sick and now severe stomach cramping. She is dehydrated and not holding any water down.

The Guild!!!

I was never a nerd/geek/gamer until I married one. After a few years I quit again - lets face it I have enough drama in this life to handle a whole other life, but before quitting my game life I have been a guild leader/ guild vice president and a noob trainer.

I've played several online roll playing games and loved getting to know some of the people on line and yes just like in the show The Guild those lines blur. We met up with several of the people that we gamed with, dinner drinks and good times.The funny things is how quickly you can bond to people online.

My BFF and I have been friends almost 12 years. We see each other several times a week and talk frequently. When you game though you will play almost every night and part of every day with the same people. Fighting, sharing, talking and working side by side with the same group hours a day on end its easy to feel closer to them then your RL friends.

I have lost touch with my old guild friends, but for those out there that still game (like my hubby) - love gaming (like my cousin) or have gamed (me) Tomorrow Season Five of THE GUILD starts again this time they are going to comic-con!

If you have never seen The guild click this link to watch the first episode (each episode is 4-7 minutes long one season is like watching a movie).

The video is from a small collection of Guild music videos - just them in character having fun!

Free Advice Vol. 5 - Survivor President

Here is my Free Advice on how to fix our Nation once and for all.

Disclaimer - First off this is not an attack to any party - lets face it they BOTH suck. We vote R or D because the majority does and voting for another party is a wasted vote (we may all need to get together and vote for a non party - soon!)

Lets get very REAL Sen. John Boehner- WANTS the deal to go through. Pres. Obama - WANTS the deal to go through - they just don't want to look like jack asses when they do it - they BOTH want it to be the OTHER PERSONS FAULT!

America I am sick of the games. Here is a small thread that has been going down on FB.
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------
Telisha (me)
So Pres. Obama says Social Security may not be paid after 8-2-11 if they don't reach an agreement. I have a MUCH better idea. Rather than not paying the people who depend on that small check every month, let's not pay ANY Politician (including Obama) for the next year and see if that helps them to work a little harder for US.....the little people.

            Telisha  Also - we need to ACT like a poor country and stop SPENDING!! Any person on the hill that goes over budget needs to be FIRED and face penalties.
            We also need to stop playing war turn defensive instead of offensive.
            Lets also stop calling ourself a "prosperous nation" lets face reality, we were then we borrowed.
           
            Pam I thought it was Baner that threatened that....hmmm have to listen again. I say we take their checks till they come to their senses !!!!
           
            Telisha to ‎Pam  - I'm not saying it was the Pres or even attacking him. Stating point of fact that instead of threatening the old, sick and disabled they need to stop and make some REAL changes not this whishy washy mamby pamby baby crap they keep screaming at each other.
            Its pathetic.
          
           ‎(Pres Obama was pointing out to Boehner that if the agreement didn't go through that would be the fall out - it was not a threat) This is not an attack again, merely Point of FACT.
        
            Pam  I didn't think you where attacking them girl and I'm sick of it too! In-fact if they don't send checks in September I will default on my housing and be on the street and Dustin will loose his apartment also! I just was thinking it was more a republican threat to cut off SS checks. Either way I agree tax Warren Buffets of the world ...they even want to be taxed! Walmart could stand to pay more than they do to!
          
            Telisha  I am sick of the posturing, the lies and WHERE they choose to cut back - instead of NOT going over budget and firing those that do - they cut special needs fundings and research grants.
            Instead of NOT paying for several wars we have no real business being in they want to hike taxes on the lower end middle income - you know all those people BARELY making their house payments.
          
            I am fed up with listening to the same old political watch my butt, lie my ass off and DO NOTHING TO ACTUALLY TAKE ANY DAMN RESPONSIBILITY !!!
          
             Each of the men at the table might learn a lot about life if they had to live like a middle class American for a month! Survivor Political style!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yup that's my real take on things. We need real change not the same old stupid posturing that they have been doing for over ninety years.
I vote R less for political reasons, more for moral and spiritual reasons, I however, am not blind to the faults of both parties.

Lets shake it down

Republicans -
Treat the US like a slave nation to the wealthy, we should all be grateful little zombies that we HAVE our pittance.
If we CHOOSE to be born disabled, handicapped or impaired in any way that's our American Freedom and pretty much the only one we have left!
They even want to dictate FREE adults and wearing seat belts (seriously we might be better off allowing the dumb to kill themselves by their own stupidity)  we are ADULTS, it should be our common sense FREEDOM.

Democrates -
Play the FAKE saviors to the poor while they exploit them more than anyone else.
Point of Fact read this article on the Ten highest taxed states and the Ten lowest - the majority of the HIGHEST are Democratic states - numbers that speak for themselves.
Ten and Ten Article Link
So really what is their Agenda? I keep hearing about how everyone needs the SAME care, the SAME opportunities, everything the SAME something - its getting more Marxist and socialistic sounding then Democratic.

Personally at the moment both parties should be taken out put on a dessert island and whoever survives wins. (Until the next election where I vote we do it again.)
Honestly I would rather watch Survivor for President! then the dirty political campaigns of recent years!

Friends and Children

Pizza with friends

 And kids

My hubby and I were talking about some of our yard projects we want to get done this week.
He says: Maybe if you're really lucky I'll even break out the chain saw.
Our daughter clutches her throat, "And cut our throats off?!!"

I really think I need to limit her television!!!

Other posts for the day -
Patch the Ewok
Rock Creek Pizza Review

What a day!

Linked to

Sorry

I have a ton of things to say and no time to say it. I promise photos, and stories will be forthcoming.

One break through that the majority of my readers will never be able to understand unless you have gone through depression - I went a whole week keeping my kitchen immaculate!
Yay!
I have even started to move on to cleaning other rooms - who knows it may catch on!

The Tragedy of Amy Winehouse

 

I know my title may sound dramatic even for the tragic death of Amy at the young age of 27.

However, what else has her life been?

She has suffered, bleed, hurt, cried and shared.

It was the sharing that earned her a spot and a right to fame.

She was honest, some times brutally so.

Many called it a bad thing to capitalize on drugs, abuse and pain, others called it therapeutic hoping she would find a way to deal and move on from her problems.

I called it brave.

For one who had clear issues with so many things in her short life, she didn't pretend they weren't there.

She didn't simper and smile, playing fake.

If she hurt, she sang it.

I read many articles on her death and still feel as if very few really and truly knew her.

The real her.

I am sorry Amy, sorry for being a fan and still not being able to be there to help.

Sorry that you never got the happily ever after, sorry that you like Juliet died tragically.

Childrens Allergies

This is my little girl.
She has her papa's asthma and my hayfever.
She also has picked up some of my stranger allergies, the problem is pinpointing the exact thing that is causing her allergy bumps!!

They look like bites and if you itch them they grow. But are they bites? I don't think so - not after watching a few of them bloom on her with no bugs insight!

I think these are her hives. My hives start as one bump (normally on my stomach) if I itch it, they explode all over my body. I also then suffer severe stomach cramping and other issues that are slightly gross.
The problem with allergies are that every person reacts to them differently.

Solution? After she gets her cast off, we will be taking a trip to an allergist to see what foods or things I need to remove from my daughters life - I couldn't upload the picture of the bump on her leg due to its position but its the size of a baseball!!!

Re-launching

Trying To Get Published - has disappeared into nothingness and Writing My Inner Voice has emerged from the ashes.

Also my cousin has changed her blog title from Rainbow Kitties to The Sweet Geek's Blog. I think it has a great ring to it! Check her out!

Eventually I will also be changing my food blog title - Another Food Blog into something else... not sure if I will go with Garris Cooking or Eating for B - hence me not changing it yet.

On a down note my daughter is allergic to spider bites. I don't mean as in she gets the same small red bumps as everyone else - I mean they get as big as baseballs!!!
She's been to urgent care and her doctor over them and all they can recommend is allergy meds and calladryl!
I have bug sprayed the house repeatedly and yet - they still get her!
No one else gets bit like her!!! Its like all the spiders follow her!

Making coffee - I can barely stay awake!

Hours later and after watching more large "spider" bumps pop up i am revising my opinion - I think she is allergic to something - problem is I don't know what!!!

I think another trip to the Doctor will lead to a trip to see an allergist. I will leave that appointment for AFTER her cast if off!

Summer Peas

 Pumpkins

 Corn

 Peppers

My sweet peas taste incredible!

Only Little man spit his pea out!

My garden is small, we planted late and only half of what I wanted.

Mostly everything was down to the rain and then to fixing our machines.

This year we will be making proper grow boxes and preparing for a much better harvest!

The Last Airbender - Movie Review

I know another movie review in the same day.

Don't worry I am not going to start doing a million of these.

The Last Airbender

I have watched this movie several times and today I read a shocking review where someone said everyone in the theater booed at the end!!

Honestly that shocked me.

I don't know what expectations they had when watching this movie, however, mine were met.

I loved the colors, cinematography and different styles of martial arts.

Each element fights with a different style - making several of the scenes a joy to watch.

This movie is the first movie titled - Book One - Water.

Where the Air-bender needs to Master Water.

There are another two movies (hopefully) to follow.

Each showing the Air-bender on his quest to learn Earth and Fire.

The last movie may prove to be the most difficult as the King of the Fire nation wants to kill the Avatar aka the last Air-bender.

There are moments when the show takes a slightly cheesy turn, but knowing that it was filmed for a family audience to me lessons it's cheesy factor.

What most people may not understand is why the dreaded machines of the Fire Nation are so horrible.

To me its clear, the other elements stayed pure.

When they needed any type of defense they used their element.

The idea of using anything else was a foreign concept and the other Nations did not adapt before being decimated and taken prisoner.

I give this movie a four star rating.

I also wish they were currently filming the second movie, but so far its still in concept.

Fly Away - Movie 2011

 

Fly Away - Movie Review

On Rotten Tomatoes they had the nerve to rate this movie as a C.
Biggest complaint that I could see was how it ends - or rather doesn't.

Lets face facts, any family that is living with an Autistic child or adult can explain (patiently and normally using small words lets face it - its a habit) Autism is life.
Each day can bring miracles and pain.
Challenges and Joys.
But it doesn't end.

Very few that are diagnosed with Autism will lose their "label" by adulthood. The movie doesn't end because life does not end.
Instead it ends with hope, not some fake happily ever after.

I found the movie to be a gem. The young Mandy is in the middle of the spectrum, she can learn, she can speak. She is severe enough that she needs specialized care and handling.
Its a movie that can touch most families on the spectrum. Even better its a movie I would recommend to many family members of those with Autism - Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and assorted others that live near the spectrum.


Each family is different, each family faces different challenges and yet there are some challenges that ALL on the spectrum face. They all face rounds of doctors, therapies and interviews with schools.

For my children I filled out a few papers, showed their shots cards and POOF! my children are placed into school.
For those on the spectrum it means several doctors visits, mounds of paper work, interviews with several schools and programs until they are finally accepted into a program. So a family that is already stressed and frazzled must go through TEN times the crap to get into a school then me a not so stressed parent.
It just doesn't seem fair and yet their is no end in sight.

Beautiful movie - I cried repeatedly, laughed and Awed. You will too!

The path to Me - Guilt

 

I follow many blogs and while I don't comment on all of them - you have no idea how many I actually read and keep up with.

A favorite of mine - is private so I will post the link, but you may need to ask permission to view-

Its called The Great Umbrella Heist.

A few months ago she was featured as Blog of Note, shortly after that she had to put her blog to private, in order to keep out the freaks that started stalking her triplets and saying some disturbing and nasty junk.

A few days ago she posted the majority of the story when a year before her triplets were born her first baby died in womb a few days after her due date.

The post is titled, How it happens.

Have you ever had a moment of clarity feeling someone else's pain? This is what I wrote in response to her pain.

Writing it all out hopefully will help give you closure.

If you have any trolls who jump on and say something nasty delete them and move on.

You can always see what you could have done differently, I have quilt over my mothers death - that I didn't realize she was that sick.

No matter how many times I wish I had gotten her to the hospital earlier it does not and will not change the fact that I just didn't know.

Neither did you.

If you had known, if you had suspected - YOU WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING ELSE.

Forgiveness of self is the hardest thing to do.

IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER.

May you find the peace you need.

And in one amazing moment I understood why I have had such severe depression, why I hated myself on so many days. Why I was gaining the weight and couldn't shake it off. Why now I am finally starting to come out of the dark.

It was GUILT.

I had not forgiven myself for letting my mother down when she needed me most. For not understanding how bad off she was.

You see 6 1/2 years ago my father was out of town, my sister was across town house sitting. The day before my mother had been fine. My husband had undergone his first in and out surgery for parathyroid. 

We lived with my parents at the time so when I came home with my husband that night I made dinner for everyone. My mother was grateful in her words she was "feeling run down." 

She looked tired. 

We all went to bed early that night. In the morning I heard coughing. I left my daughter and hubby downstairs and went upstairs to see how mama was doing.

She was sick. She told me she had pneumonia. I believed her - how could I not? She was puking up red, chunky crap that looked and smelled like it.

I followed her advice on how to treat and spent the morning running back and forth between her and my one year old daughter who I had brought up stairs and placed in the playpen.

I knew my mother needed to get to the hospital, but she wasn't dressed and she was weak. I knew she would kill me if I called an ambulance so instead I went to make her lunch with the plans of getting her dressed and into the hospital after eating.

Sounds normal right?

WRONG.

When I returned with her lunch she was dead.

I started CPR and had my hubby call an ambulance.

Hours later it was clear - the fluid had filled her lungs so quickly she had suffocated to death.

Why?

Her heart had been to weak to clear the fluid.

We didn't even know she had a heart condition!

But for years I blamed myself for not getting help sooner, for not doing more.

Guilt is an ugly thing, it eats away at you. Zaps you and kills your self-worth. Its easy to see what I could have done differently but the simple fact is I didn't know.

Even as I type the tears are falling, losing mama has been like losing a part of my heart. She died at the age of 52. 

Far to young to leave us. 

Am I healed? Nope. But I have hope that in time I can be. I know that if I had known I would have acted sooner. I would have done anything to save her.

Today I have lost 6 pds and have 80 more to go. I am eating better and starting to exercise. My children deserve a mother who will be there for them, who will not  pity mode that will eventually kill me young.

The Super Rare Webkinz Pink Pony

Alright so when we bought the first one three years ago

they weren't rare or hard to find.

I also didn't know that it would quickly become THE toy.

She has been shaved, cut, washed and makeuped

Even worse was when we lost the toy on the train ride back from Cali last year.

After over a year of searching every pile of webkinz in every store I know that sells them

last week we struck gold!

See them side by side?

One well loved and forlorn 

the other still sparkles!

I am so happy that we now have a backup!

NEWS!!

Sorry I completely forgot the most amazing bit of news!

The best news of the day!

My Cutie and her best friend are in the same class next year!

(5 weeks until the 2nd grade)

My brave beautiful girl who had to face a new school year, in a new home after cutting off her hair!

Her best friend A

- short girl in top photo and second photo -

Was friendless in Kindergarten and has been deeply thankful for Prissy.

Most of their friends from the old school will be on track A and not on D

Thankfully they will still be in the same class!

This year marks another new school (zoning changes THANK YOU JESUS!)

My son also starts Kindergarten so every morning I will have the house to myself.

I can't even think what a whole day to myself will be like!

Mid July's Garden

My little pumpkin

My peas

Peppers

Carrots

Yum!
The corn is growing but not large enough for husks yet.
So far the peas are by far the winners among my growing garden!!!
Can't wait for next years crop, after adding grow boxes and better soil!

On the Path and with Friends

My therapy's office

another visit past and I am feeling hope

that this awakening will last.

 My BFF's new deck still under construction - but almost done!

Tonight's full moon was amazing!

Dinner tonight!
Book News

Meetings, Autism and my BFF

Last night my BFF and I went to a Symposium at the library downtown.

In order the speakers of the night were Mr. Micheal Hartman (Dean of Special Ed U of U), Ms. Michelle Wagner member of the U of U school board & Mrs. Gailynn Gluth Founder of Wynsum Arts LLC.

While this was supposed to be about apps and Autism follow the link at the top and you will see it really was more of a concept meeting getting response from others to see if it will take off.

Girls, Dress and Sewing!

 

There are days when good ideas aren't good

Like when I thought I could whip up a dress in one day

out of things I had lying around.

Two sewing machine break downs later and a sore thumb

I had the dress finished save the ribbon sleeves.

A few days later I begged my step mom to help

And voila! one dress!

and possible help on fixing my sewing machine!

She LOVES pink!

Project needs

material

velcro

thread

TIME

and general know how to do a basic stitch!

Tea at Grandma's

 

 The kids had a ball!

Little man made "ham cake" with Grandma

Prissy made lemon cake with her

Grandma of course made tea!

See I made it just in time to eat!

All in all this was a great day! 

My step mom (aka Grandma) also helped me finish a dress I had started for Prissy

(I broke two machines twice in the same day)

Thank you family that helps!

What a long day!

My alarm sounded at 5 am (crazy early for me!) I woke up and went to the potty - Surprise! Flying Ant city!
Distracted I started killing and cleaning. Hubby texts me at 5:12 am to come and pick him up - he had spent the night at a sleep study. I grab the kids (in the case of Little man literally) throw them in the car.

By 5:45 I have hubby and we are headed back toward home.
5:55 am and Poof! Flat tire! (Ugg and Yuck!)
6:30 am and spare tire is on the car - we hit the road again in search of home.
This time we decide to treat ourselves to breakfast at Burger King (HUGE MISTAKE!) For full story click link!
9-12 we go back to sleep every single on of us!
1:00 pm Lunch (killing more ants and washing up the floors) Hubby packs up the trailer, I do a load of dishes.
2pm we head out to give the old toys away to the DI
2:30 pm we arrive at my BFF's house

Why?
Well she had this deck...

And she is in the middle of getting

This deck.

So she is giving us all the old wood! We grabbed one large pile today and have at least two more trips to get the rest! We are both getting the best deal!
She is getting a trex deck that is maintenance and care free. This time she is getting two privacy walls as well as an overhang to help keep the sun off the kids.

I will be making several projects that will be featured here on the blog out of the old wood!

My short list
Playground
Fence
Arbor
picnic table and benches
grow boxes for veggies

This has been one long day filled with confusing emotions - once again pay day is here and we are flat broke. Two weeks from now thankfully we should be all caught up!

Fourth of July 2011 Post # 300

The USA Flag 

followed by

The Marine Flag 

hubby's best friend is an ex-marine ironic that an ex-air-force and marine can be friends!

You should hear the jokes fly past especially when my ex-navy dad shows up!
The question mark - is actually a dirt blot - having issues cleaning it off!

I am getting a little better at taking photos and using my camera

Great night with great friends celebrating the fact that we are free!

Thank you to all the men and women who are serving and have served to protect those freedoms!